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    Holding Hands

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    Clutter Advice

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    Bulletproof

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    New Home No Hears

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    Comedians' Convention

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    Football Confessions

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    Politically Correct Cat Terms

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    Two Teas

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    Pearl Dream

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    Egg Contents

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    The Difference Between Men and Women

    This is a Dave Barry item. Do not use in your book.********** Let's say a guy named Fred…
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    Rich Uncle

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    Obituary Notice

    A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently…
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    Almost Redialed

    I still have a lot of trouble with wrong numbers. Yesterday I dialed the Red Cross and…
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    Kids and Cliches

    I teach fourth grade in Ventura County, California. As a fun assignment, I gave the…

Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.

As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say. "It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer, and slenderizes your hips."

Just then another lady in the dressing room spoke out. "If there is a dress here that will do that, I'll buy them all!"

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