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  • deer hunting jokes

    Deer Hunting

    A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one…
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    Dining Out

    The waitress comes over and recognizes the family seated at the table; Mr. & Mrs. Smith…
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    Longevity

    A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the…
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    Taa-Daa!

    A magician calls a man up on stage, hands him a mallet, and instructs the guy to hit him…
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    Raise Plea

    The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise…
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    Artist's Sketch

    Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got…
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    Heavenly Music

    I attend a small village church in rural PA. On any given Sunday, we may have six or…
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    Homework Problem

    One of my third-graders came to school crying. "Jonathan's upset because he couldn't…
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    Called In Sick

    Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union…
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    Understanding the Metric System

    1 million microphones = 1 megaphone1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles2000 mockingbirds = 2…
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    Old Red

    Red Buttons, appearing on Dennis Miller's Show, announced he was 80 years old but that 80…
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    Cast Your Bread

    My mom, a difficult independent, likes sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. One day…
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    Window Savings

    A window salesman phoned a customer. "Hello, Mr. Brown," said the sales rep. "I'm calling…
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    Order Debt

    A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great…

Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.

As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say. "It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer, and slenderizes your hips."

Just then another lady in the dressing room spoke out. "If there is a dress here that will do that, I'll buy them all!"

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