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  • students

    4th Grade Experiment

    The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she…
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    Grasshopper in Bar

    A grasshopper goes into a bar and hops on to a barstool to order a drink. The bartender…
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    Need Help?

    I saw a billboard yesterday that said: Need help? Call Jesus.1-800-555-HELP Out of…
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    Fortunate Aged People

    Old folks are worth a fortune: With silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in…
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    Interpreting Hotel Brochures

    Old world charm ............. No bathTropical .................... RainyMajestic setting…
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    Threatening Letters

    The fellow stormed into the postmaster's office in a fury. "I've been getting threatening…
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    The Perfect Worker

    From a reference letter . . . 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found2…
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    Bible Hunt

    One fellow was violently tearing through his Bible in a desperate search when a friend…
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    Lazy Cobbler

    A man went into a shoe repair store in his hometown that he had not been in for almost…
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    Not Likely

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
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    Swahili Gasp

    A company was producing an English-language movie. In one scene, an exhausted messenger…
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    Conductor Problem

    The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new…
  • boy soccerball

    Welcome to the Neighborhood

    A family who had just moved into a new neighborhood was anxious to make a good…
  • Army march joke

    Morning March

    I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding…
  • baseball

    Fly Catch

    My wife had never been to a baseball game, so I took her to see the Los Angeles Dodgers…

We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride we talked about how the procedure would be performed.

"Dad," our teenager asked, "how are they going to keep my mouth open during the surgery?"

Without hesitation he quipped, "They're going to give you a phone."

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