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More Jokes

  • dog lazy

    Dog Tricks

    *Mind Games You Can Play with Your Humans* 1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T…
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    Late For Work

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  • knee bones

    Sore Knee

    Old man Johnson limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doc, my right knee hurts so…
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    Modern Day Proverbs

    ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day without sunshine is like night. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES…
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    Too Late To Date

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    Alllleee-oop!

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    10 Puns

    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it…
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    Klopman Diamond

    A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the…
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    Cow Philosophies

    Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms. Socialism: you have two…
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    Teaching Math

    Last week I purchased a burger for $1.58. I handed the cashier $2.00 and started digging…
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    A Mother's Letter to Her Son

    A Mother's Letter to Her Son My Dear Son: Just a few lines to let you know I'm still…
  • child sad

    Picnic Pains

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week, that her…
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    Chet's Graduation

    It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Chet. At the…
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    Church Dictionary

    From the church dictionary: AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.…
  • university building

    Evaluation Excerpts

    These are actual excerpts from college course evaluation forms: 1. "The textbook is…

We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride we talked about how the procedure would be performed.

"Dad," our teenager asked, "how are they going to keep my mouth open during the surgery?"

Without hesitation he quipped, "They're going to give you a phone."

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