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  • How to be handy around the house - in 10 easy steps.

    Ten Step Guide to Being Handy Around the House

    1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an…
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    Not For Lunch

    My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about…
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    IBA

    A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that…
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    Haircut

    Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.Susie: It grew on company time.Boss: Not all…
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    Proud Grandmother

    An elderly, wealthy woman in Florida was boring fellow beachcombers as she bragged on and…
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    No Horns

    The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that…
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    Mouse Repellant

    A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild winter, they had a bit of a…
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    Encyclopaedia Set for Sale

    FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica.Excellent Condition.$1200 or…
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    Holding Hands

    While at the mall, I saw an elderly couple holding hands while they were walking. As they…
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    Zack and His Mule

    Zack and his mule were walking down the road when one of Zack's friends drove up and…
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    Merchant Captain

    One of the world's most famous merchant captains died, having long been admired by his…
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    Gate Boarding

    At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement…
  • winter

    Winter in Wisconsin

    It's winter in WisconsinAnd the gentle breezes blow,70 miles per hourAt 52 below! Oh, how…
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    Hymns For The Aging

    *Hymns for the Aging* Precious Lord, Take my Hand (And Help Me Get Up) It is Well with My…
  • doctor3

    Can Cure

    A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor…

A guy is driving around Wadsworth, Ohio and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"

"Because he's lying, he never did any of that stuff."

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