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More Jokes

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    Two by Fours

    Man injured by fallen raccoon A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a…
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    Flight Control Software

    At a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the participants were given…
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    Interactive Weather

    Our part of the country had gone for weeks with little or no rain. The TV weatherman, on…
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    Friendly Golf

    Two friends were beginning a game of golf.The first man stepped up to the tee, hit the…
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    Scientist's Convention

    In the far distant future in the year 4527, a number of scientists from all over the…
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    Goober Widow

    A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer.…
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    City Preacher

    Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a cow from an ear of corn.…
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    Shopping Advice

    While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a…
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    Tired Son

    A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back…
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    Rabbi Returns

    I returned to my parents' home to attend a funeral. At the temple, my mother led me to a…
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    Punishment Withheld

    Teacher: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also…
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    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the…
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    Saintly Sons

    Two mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My son is such a saint. He…
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    PC Assets

    My husband refused to learn how to operate a PC. I tried to get him to realize how…
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    Miracle Return

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.…

You know you're a retiree-to-be when...

1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh!  Stop smiling!"

2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year.

3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier.

4. You find yourself saying, "Yes!" whenever an administrator or union officer asks you to be on a committee next year.

5. The custodian has complained to the principal that the trash he removes daily from your room is 10 to 20 times greater than any other room in the building - including the cafeteria.

6. You get in line at the copy machine, and realize you don't have anything to copy.

7. The teachers in the grade below you complain about how horrible their kids are, and you just smile.

8. The principal comes in for the final observation of the year, and you throw a party for your class with lots of snacks, games, and a visit from Frankie the clown.

9. You constantly find other teachers in your room measuring bookcases.

10. You respond to every new initiative with, "Been there!  Done that!"

11. When the parent, who has complained about every teacher her kid has ever had, comes up to you and says, "My son is hoping to get you next year," you just smile!

12. On your way to the parking lot, you look up at the sky, and see 3 or 4 recent college graduates circling overhead.

13. Other staff members complain that they can't get into the rest room because you're always in there, laughing hysterically.

14. Behind you, as you're driving out of the parking lot, you hear the faint ringing of the dismissal bell.

15. Your final comments on the June report card are, "Bye!"

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