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More Jokes

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    Sick Day

    Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied male obesity to a…
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    Misquote

    A friend of mine attended a Christian college where the tradition was to deliver a box of…
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    Even More Cute Kids

    A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old…
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    Thanks

    A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an…
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    Modern Day Proverbs

    ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day without sunshine is like night. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES…
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    Goober 2 by 4s

    A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of them walked into…
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    Wheat Exports

    Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question:…
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    Politically Correct Statements for a New Century

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
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    Green Side Up

    A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her.…
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    Scavenger Hunt

    A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list. "Ma'am," he…
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    Hymns vs. Choruses

    An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home…
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    Who's The Expert?

    On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars…
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    Eating Out

    Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches…
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    Goober Circle

    A goober had just bought a new sports car and was out for a drive when she swerved…
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    How To Write A College Paper

    How to write a College Paper 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted…

You know you're a retiree-to-be when...

1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh!  Stop smiling!"

2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year.

3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier.

4. You find yourself saying, "Yes!" whenever an administrator or union officer asks you to be on a committee next year.

5. The custodian has complained to the principal that the trash he removes daily from your room is 10 to 20 times greater than any other room in the building - including the cafeteria.

6. You get in line at the copy machine, and realize you don't have anything to copy.

7. The teachers in the grade below you complain about how horrible their kids are, and you just smile.

8. The principal comes in for the final observation of the year, and you throw a party for your class with lots of snacks, games, and a visit from Frankie the clown.

9. You constantly find other teachers in your room measuring bookcases.

10. You respond to every new initiative with, "Been there!  Done that!"

11. When the parent, who has complained about every teacher her kid has ever had, comes up to you and says, "My son is hoping to get you next year," you just smile!

12. On your way to the parking lot, you look up at the sky, and see 3 or 4 recent college graduates circling overhead.

13. Other staff members complain that they can't get into the rest room because you're always in there, laughing hysterically.

14. Behind you, as you're driving out of the parking lot, you hear the faint ringing of the dismissal bell.

15. Your final comments on the June report card are, "Bye!"

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