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    Prayers as Heard By Children

    Prayers as Heard By ChildrenFrom San Francisco: When I was a child, I learned this prayer…
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    Cheap Gas

    When the car engine developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had…
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    Shott Versus Nott

    A duel was fought between Alexander Shott and John Nott. Nott was shot and Shott was not.…
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    Keep Walking

    An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.…
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    Surgery Beauty

    Irving was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his…
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    Sightseeing at Alcatraz

    A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase…
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    Eyes Gone

    Yesterday I went to the opticians, walked up to the counter and said to the guy on duty,…
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    2 Sunday School Lessons

    *Sunday School Lesson #1*A Sunday School teacher challenged her children to take some…
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    Broken Scale

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Mother Ring

    While picking up a prescription, I noticed that the woman who gave me my medication was…
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    Change Reply

    Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw…
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    Battling Salons

    A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established…
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    Brick Order

    A man goes into his local building supply store and orders 10,000 bricks."May I ask what…
  • picture of a wedding dress

    The Wedding Dress

    Betty was soon to be married. More than anything, she wanted to wear the wedding dress…
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    Laboratory Cells

    My mother works in a laboratory and is responsible for keeping tissue cultures alive. So…

You know you're a retiree-to-be when...

1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh!  Stop smiling!"

2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year.

3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier.

4. You find yourself saying, "Yes!" whenever an administrator or union officer asks you to be on a committee next year.

5. The custodian has complained to the principal that the trash he removes daily from your room is 10 to 20 times greater than any other room in the building - including the cafeteria.

6. You get in line at the copy machine, and realize you don't have anything to copy.

7. The teachers in the grade below you complain about how horrible their kids are, and you just smile.

8. The principal comes in for the final observation of the year, and you throw a party for your class with lots of snacks, games, and a visit from Frankie the clown.

9. You constantly find other teachers in your room measuring bookcases.

10. You respond to every new initiative with, "Been there!  Done that!"

11. When the parent, who has complained about every teacher her kid has ever had, comes up to you and says, "My son is hoping to get you next year," you just smile!

12. On your way to the parking lot, you look up at the sky, and see 3 or 4 recent college graduates circling overhead.

13. Other staff members complain that they can't get into the rest room because you're always in there, laughing hysterically.

14. Behind you, as you're driving out of the parking lot, you hear the faint ringing of the dismissal bell.

15. Your final comments on the June report card are, "Bye!"

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