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    Johnny In The Garden

    Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw…
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    Road Closed

    Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway…
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    Department Baseball

    An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff…
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    Absent Minded Professor

    One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded…
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    Tax Forms

    It was April and Tax Day was looming when an elderly woman showed up at my desk at the…
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    Lost Turnabout

    Driving to a new restaurant, a woman took several wrong turns. When she finally found the…
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    Strange 911 Calls

    *Strange 911 Calls*A call came into 911 Emergency because two couples were going to share…
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    TV Quote

    Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one…
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    Parking Concern

    While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face.As I was lying…
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    Innocent Question

    A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that a jury had found the defendant not…
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    Signs The Car You Bought Is A Lemon

    1. As you leave the used car lot, you see the owner rush out with a gigantic smile and…
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    Restaurant Rating

    I was meeting a friend in a restaurant and as I went in, I noticed two pretty girls…
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    Starting To Date

    Alan asks, "I know you're crazy about that little daughter of yours, Steve. What are you…
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    No Stairs

    An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the…
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    Goober Diagnosis

    A Goober felt sick and decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examining him said, 'Well,…

You know you're a retiree-to-be when...

1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh!  Stop smiling!"

2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year.

3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier.

4. You find yourself saying, "Yes!" whenever an administrator or union officer asks you to be on a committee next year.

5. The custodian has complained to the principal that the trash he removes daily from your room is 10 to 20 times greater than any other room in the building - including the cafeteria.

6. You get in line at the copy machine, and realize you don't have anything to copy.

7. The teachers in the grade below you complain about how horrible their kids are, and you just smile.

8. The principal comes in for the final observation of the year, and you throw a party for your class with lots of snacks, games, and a visit from Frankie the clown.

9. You constantly find other teachers in your room measuring bookcases.

10. You respond to every new initiative with, "Been there!  Done that!"

11. When the parent, who has complained about every teacher her kid has ever had, comes up to you and says, "My son is hoping to get you next year," you just smile!

12. On your way to the parking lot, you look up at the sky, and see 3 or 4 recent college graduates circling overhead.

13. Other staff members complain that they can't get into the rest room because you're always in there, laughing hysterically.

14. Behind you, as you're driving out of the parking lot, you hear the faint ringing of the dismissal bell.

15. Your final comments on the June report card are, "Bye!"

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