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More Jokes

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    No Ears, One Question

    Jack Summers is a constructor at a building site. One day on the site there is a massive…
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    Child Perspective on Retirement

    A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the…
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    Summer Camp

    A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in Summer…
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    Isn't That Nice?

    Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood (one of whom was from Texas) were conversing…
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    Chocolate Laughs

    Over the years, people have come up with a number of great reasons to eat chocolate. The…
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    Pain Management

    My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain…
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    Top 17 Inspirational Messages Not Heard at Work

    (17) There is no "I" in "teamwork"...But there is in "management kiss-up". (16) If you do…
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    Boat Rental

    A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost…
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    In Both Ears

    "It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but…
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    Parking Space Sign Language

    After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping…
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    Grandfather Putt

    Playing golf with his buddies, my grandfather had to make a slick 45-foot, downhill putt.…
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    Mr. Scwartz

    Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help…
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    Farmer Joe & Bessie

    Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the…
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    Kissing Son

    I was in line at a restaurant. In front of me was a mother with her college-age son and…
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    Too Distant / Too Close

    The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To…

You know you're a retiree-to-be when...

1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh!  Stop smiling!"

2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year.

3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier.

4. You find yourself saying, "Yes!" whenever an administrator or union officer asks you to be on a committee next year.

5. The custodian has complained to the principal that the trash he removes daily from your room is 10 to 20 times greater than any other room in the building - including the cafeteria.

6. You get in line at the copy machine, and realize you don't have anything to copy.

7. The teachers in the grade below you complain about how horrible their kids are, and you just smile.

8. The principal comes in for the final observation of the year, and you throw a party for your class with lots of snacks, games, and a visit from Frankie the clown.

9. You constantly find other teachers in your room measuring bookcases.

10. You respond to every new initiative with, "Been there!  Done that!"

11. When the parent, who has complained about every teacher her kid has ever had, comes up to you and says, "My son is hoping to get you next year," you just smile!

12. On your way to the parking lot, you look up at the sky, and see 3 or 4 recent college graduates circling overhead.

13. Other staff members complain that they can't get into the rest room because you're always in there, laughing hysterically.

14. Behind you, as you're driving out of the parking lot, you hear the faint ringing of the dismissal bell.

15. Your final comments on the June report card are, "Bye!"

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