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    Signs of Aging

    You know you're getting older if:1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.2. Your try…
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    Monitors

    I sell new and used computers for a living. At an exhibit and sale, I decided to give…
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    Gym Oops

    New to the United States, I was eager to meet people. So one day I struck up a…
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    Proposal Reaction

    A young man confided to his mother that he had proposed to his girlfriend and they were…
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    Mother Tongue

    I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance…
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    Blizzard Police

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a policeman,…
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    Missed Cues

    This actually happend to CLeanLaugh list member Nila Wilhem. She writes, "Several years…
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    Historical Application

    Steinberg needs a job, and has no qualms about inventing the necessary qualifications to…
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    Forbidden Words

    An English professor announced to the class, "There are two words I don't allow in my…
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    Seen in the Cafeteria

    At work, my dad noticed that the name of an employee was the same as an old friend. He…
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    CD Sleeves

    My daughter Lili was five when she received a foam CD holder with plastic sleeves for all…
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    Starting Over

    The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have…
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    Cross Country Move

    When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our…
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    Eye Exam

    Eye-examination charts vary according to the manufacturer, but one thing they have in…
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    Hunting Feedback

    I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a…
Log on: making a wood stove hotter
Log off: don't add no more wood
Monitor: keeping an eye on the wood stove
Download: gettin the farwood off the truck
Mega Hertz: when yer not keerful getting the farwood
Floppy disc: whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
Ram: that thar thing what splits the farwood
Hard drive: gettin home in the winter time
Prompt: whut the mail ain't in the winter time
Windows: what to shut when it's cold outside
Screen: what to shut when it's blak fly season
Byte: what dem flys do
Chip: munchies fer the TV
Micro Chip: whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
Modem: whacha did to the hay fields
Dot Matrix: Old Dan Matrix's wife
Lap Top: whar the kitty sleeps
Keyboard: whar ya hang the keys
Software: them plastic forks and knifes
Mouse: what eats the grain in the barn
Mouse Pad: that hippie talk for the rat hole
Main frame: holds up the barn ruf
Port: fancy Flatlander wine
Enter: northerner talk fer C'Mon in y'all
Random Access Memory: when ya cain't 'member what ya paid fer the......
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