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    How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse

    How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse USA Today:WE'RE DEAD The Wall Street Journal:DOW…
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    Resume Examples

    These are real examples from real resumes:*Reasons For Leaving Last Job*- Responsibility…
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    Wire Backup

    One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he…
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    Holding Hands

    While at the mall, I saw an elderly couple holding hands while they were walking. As they…
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    Excerpts from Pet Diaries

    From the Dog.Day number 1808:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!9:30 am - OH BOY! A…
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    Correction

    Frustrated at always being corrected by my hubby, I decided the next time it happened I…
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    Procrastinator's Creed

    1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. 2. I shall…
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    You Know You're Growing Old When...

    You know you're growing old when... ..you've come to the annoying realization that your…
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    12 Step Web Addicts Recovery Program

    1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to,…
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    Overheard At The Cemetery

    These two boys filled up a bucket of nuts and sat down by the tree. Out of sight, they…
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    Police Dog Freeze

    A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff's department canine unit. One evening, the…
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    Plane Programming

    At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward…
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    Perfect

    There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a…
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    Shopping Remote

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As…
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    Tag Fad

    My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his…
Log on: making a wood stove hotter
Log off: don't add no more wood
Monitor: keeping an eye on the wood stove
Download: gettin the farwood off the truck
Mega Hertz: when yer not keerful getting the farwood
Floppy disc: whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
Ram: that thar thing what splits the farwood
Hard drive: gettin home in the winter time
Prompt: whut the mail ain't in the winter time
Windows: what to shut when it's cold outside
Screen: what to shut when it's blak fly season
Byte: what dem flys do
Chip: munchies fer the TV
Micro Chip: whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
Modem: whacha did to the hay fields
Dot Matrix: Old Dan Matrix's wife
Lap Top: whar the kitty sleeps
Keyboard: whar ya hang the keys
Software: them plastic forks and knifes
Mouse: what eats the grain in the barn
Mouse Pad: that hippie talk for the rat hole
Main frame: holds up the barn ruf
Port: fancy Flatlander wine
Enter: northerner talk fer C'Mon in y'all
Random Access Memory: when ya cain't 'member what ya paid fer the......
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