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More Jokes

  • ice cream3

    Extra Fudge

    I walked into Dairy Queen the other day and asked for a hot fudge sundae with extra hot…
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    Enjoyment of Food

    Old Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to a very upscale French…
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    Community Newspaper

    Gilbert, South Carolina is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a…
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    First Time Skydiver

    A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems…
  • Doctor helps wife with husband's snoring

    Financing Surgery

    A woman had a medical problem - her husband's snoring. So, she called the doctor one…
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    Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    Daaaad!

    A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:"Da-ad...""What?""I'm…
  • handcuff

    Houdini Wannabe

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
  • single red_rose

    Memory Clinic

    Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the…
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    Toy Advice

    A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional…
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    Missing Bags

    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area so I went to the lost luggage…
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    Tired of Rejection?

    Tired of being rejected for jobs - maybe this form letter will come in handy. Dear…
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    Get Moving

    While driving with my granddaughter, I was getting annoyed with the driver ahead of me…
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    Last Words Heard

    3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all…
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    Picnic Passions

    A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old…

I'd love to, but...

1 I have to floss my cat.

2 I've dedicated my life to linguini.

3 I want to spend more time with my blender.

4 The President said he might drop in.

5 The man on television told me to say tuned.

6 I've been scheduled for a eyelash transplant.

7 I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.

8 It's my parakeet's bowling night.

9 It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.

10 I'm building a pig from a kit.

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