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More Jokes

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    YMCA Innocence

    A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he…
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    Suspicious Delivery

    There was an unexpected knock on my door, and like I always do I first opened the…
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    Front Decisions

    The Army assigned a group of eminent psychiatrists to determine the best way to select…
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    Taxing Cinderella

    The tax adviser had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for…
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    Positively Wrong

    A linguistics professor was lecturing his class."In English," he explained, "a double…
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    Swallowed a Coin

    The kid had swallowed a coin and it got stuck in his throat, and his mother ran out in…
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    "Dilbert Quote" Contest

    A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to…
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    Driving Around

    I tell you, men drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on Highway…
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    Vet's Guarantee

    There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working…
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    Flying Blind

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
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    Watergate Bug

    A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel.The new bride is concerned and asked, "What…
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    Laws of Parenting

    *Laws of Parenting*1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next…
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    No Frills Airlines

    ...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances. ...all the insurance machines in the…
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    Little Encouragement

    The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly…
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    Smile For the DMV

    When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was…

I'd love to, but...

1 I have to floss my cat.

2 I've dedicated my life to linguini.

3 I want to spend more time with my blender.

4 The President said he might drop in.

5 The man on television told me to say tuned.

6 I've been scheduled for a eyelash transplant.

7 I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.

8 It's my parakeet's bowling night.

9 It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.

10 I'm building a pig from a kit.

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