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    Happy Marriage

    On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy…
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    Career Change

    When Ruthie's grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor…
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    Give It A Try

    Think of a letter between A and W. Repeat it out loud as you scroll down. Keep going!…
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    Church Bulletin Bloopers

    The following have all genuinely appeared in church bulletins!* Next weekend's Fasting &…
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    Upset Wagon

    It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived…
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    Goober at Interview

    The executive was interviewing a young goober for a position in his company. He wanted to…
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    10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow

    10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow1. Text on Web pages displays…
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    Cake Make Up

    On Coast Guard cutters, low-ranking crewmembers take turns in the galley helping the…
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    The Ten Most Common Forms of Office Illness

    *The Ten Most Common Forms of Office Illness* 1. The Macy's One Day Sale Flu. 2. The…
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    Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car

    *Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car* 10. Your tinted windows are also known as…
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    Impressions

    A man commissioned Picasso to paint a portrait of his wife. Startled by the…
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    Read Carefully

    My family physician told me of an incident that actually happened to him back in the…
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    What's Good Tonight?

    Our family owned restaurant is the setting for many of our discussions about how to…
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    Why Teachers Go Gray

    These are reported to be actual test answers from various schools in the Huntsville,…
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    Swerving Goober

    A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the goober driver.…

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.  One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor.  The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.  The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.  He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.  One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work?  He wanted to transcend dental medication.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.  After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?," they asked, as they moved off.  "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.  One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom.  Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.  Her husband responds, "But they are twins-if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays.  After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while later and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap.  He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?" The waiter sings, "O, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home.  The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.  One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract.  Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.  The doctor came in took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!" "No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat.  He came across two men.  One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter.  The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.  Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.  He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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