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More Jokes

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    Mommy Test

    I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the…
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    What Mom Really Wants

    Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day 10. To be able to eat a whole candy…
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    The Gift

    A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. A friend of his said, "I…
  • car theft

    Car Alarms

    I was with a friend in a cafe' when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation. "What…
  • tie

    Tie Conspiracy

    At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that…
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    A Diet For Dealing With Stress

    1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. If you drink a…
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    A Bear, a Lion and a Pig

    A bear, a lion, and a pig meet. I know what your thinking they eat the PIG...NOThe bear…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans

    Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. As a computer, I find your faith in technology…
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    Late Arrival

    A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!"He…
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    Vet's Guarantee

    There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working…
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    Freedom

    The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to…
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    Talking Dog

    A guy is driving around Wadsworth, Ohio and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking…
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    Garage Keys

    The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.…
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    Blind Pilots

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
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    Fathering

    A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are…

*Ten Things A Cat Thinks About*

1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.

2. Is there something I'm not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?

3. Why doesn't the government do something about dogs?

4. I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have ulterior motives?

5. Hmmm... If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can't we cats ever get these stupid dogs to do anything for us?

6. This looks like a good spot for a nap.

7. Hey -- no kidding, I'm sure that's the can opener.

8. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of their own if we cats hadn't given them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place?

9. If there's a God, how can He allow neutering?

10. If that really was the can opener, I'll play finicky just to let them know who's boss!

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