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More Jokes

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    Other Uses for Fruitcake

    1. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won't park on your…
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    Coffee For Grandma

    A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee.…
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    Tips rejected by Martha Stewart

    Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and…
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    Golf Lesson

    This fellow's wife was constantly nagging him to teach her to play golf. Finally, one…
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    Cake Make Up

    On Coast Guard cutters, low-ranking crewmembers take turns in the galley helping the…
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    Are You a Policeman?

    A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?""No, I am an undercover…
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    DIY Complications

    The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him…
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    Goober Line Painter

    A goober who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. She was…
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    Nervous Bride

    Apparently this is a true story. A woman in her forties got married but was bit nervous…
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    Last One

    A New Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time. She dressed her…
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    Top Signs Your Company is Planning a Layoff

    *Top Signs Your Company is Planning a Layoff* 1. CEO frequently overheard mumbling,…
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    The Pledge

    Grandpa Cartnell was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how…
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    Goober Pilots

    Two Goobers (pilots) are trying to land an airplane. They start descending and as they…
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    Hiring Slogans

    Beware of Companies With These Hiring Slogans:"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no…
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    Cat Petting

    We moved into an apartment while we were looking for a place that would let us keep our…

Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow

1. Text on Web pages displays as Morse Code

2. Graphics arrive via FedEx

3. You believe a heavier string might improve your connection

4. You post a message to your favorite newsgroup and it displays a week later

5. Your credit card expires while ordering online

6. ESPN Web site exhibits "Heisman Trophy Winner"...for 1989

7. You're still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, "Pac Man"

8. Everyone you talk to on the 'net phone' sounds like Forrest Gump

9. You receive e-mails with stamps on them

10. When you click the "Send" button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out.

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