logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should

book mystery1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' toh man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Punctuation

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
  • Default Image

    Textbook For Sale

    Cards offering used textbooks for sale are posted on the college notice board at the…
  • Default Image

    Gift Parrot

    There was a man who travelled all around the world.Every city he stopped in he would buy…
  • Default Image

    Hiring Slogans

    Beware of Companies With These Hiring Slogans:"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no…
  • A joke about two hunters lost in the forest.

    Lost Goober Hunters

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. My uncle Joe and…
  • Default Image

    Perfect

    There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a…
  • snail

    Sloth Police Report

    A sloth is out for a walk when he's mugged by four snails. After recovering his wits, he…
  • Default Image

    Ball Markers

    A Golfer walks into the pro shop at the local course and asks the golf pro if they sell…
  • Default Image

    Free Will

    A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form.…
  • doctor4

    Baby Prescription

    A woman brought her baby in to see the doctor, and he determined right away the baby had…
  • coffee cup

    Coffee Delay

    In a rush to work one morning, I pulled up to the drive-through window at a fast-food…
  • Default Image

    Immigrations Card

    Some years ago an Englishman on a plane to Australia was handed one of those…
  • office woman

    Help Desk

    A man who worked the help desk for a large company received a call one day from a…
  • Default Image

    Nervous Young Minister

    A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the flock, "For my text today, I will…
  • Default Image

    Zucchini Sign

    After harvesting the usual bumper crop of squash last year, I took a half-dozen to the…