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    The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

    10. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave." 9. Do a halftime…
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    Thesaurus Collision

    Two trucks loaded with a thousand copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New…
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    Landing Request

    There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his…
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    Fast Driver

    My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we…
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    Conch Sale

    In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light in a conch shell I found on…
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    Basement Pitch

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…
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    Guard Dog

    My sister-in-law, a truck driver, decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a…
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    Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen

    A friend was lecturing in Latin America. He was going to use a translator, but to…
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    Goober In Library

    A goober walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last…
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    Knee Tattoo

    A hospital corpsman and I were getting an elderly retired master chief petty officer out…
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    Hand Dryers

    My pastor friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church and…
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    Garage Keys

    The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.…
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    Library Argument

    On a visit to the library I happened to notice a man and a woman, both deaf, signing with…
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    Surgery Headache

    A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump…
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    Coast Guard Lingo

    When my husband joined the Coast Guard, I knew there would be some adjustments. Not only…

My first stop on my vacation was my sister's house in Montana. She's extremely organized. Before she leaves on a trip, she always types up address labels for her postcards.

This time, I figured I'd done her one better. I boasted, "You'll be impressed. I've already written thank-you notes to everyone with whom I'll be staying. They're all stamped and ready to go."

My sister was silent for a moment, and then she said, "You mean those little envelopes I saw in your room and mailed this morning?"

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