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More Jokes

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    G.I. Excuses

    The General went out to find that none of his GIs were there. One finally ran up, panting…
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    Expecting

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    Cat Musings**********

    I think this is pretty much how cats think in their heads - you can tell by the way that…
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    Pierced Ears

    The students in my third-grade class were bombarding me with questions about my newly…
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    Johnny's Prayer

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    Setting The Table

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    Retirement Savings

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    Zoo Sign

    Although fun to visit, zoos do pose certain perils. But to whom? A sign posted in the…
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    Five Kinds of Fruit

    In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of fruits on it. They…
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    Stupid Inventions

    Stupid Inventions: - Black Highlighter - Braille Driver's Manual - Clear Correction Fluid…
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    The friars of Flowers (pun alert)

    Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to…
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    Vacuum Manure

    A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a…
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    Clergy Golf

    Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, my brother and three other priests swapped…
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    Sweat Dreams

    While on vacation with my son and his family, I shared a room with my 4 year old…
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    Take Out For Lunch

    Planning a Christmas weekend of entertaining guests, I made a list of things I needed to…

A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer.  The following exchange takes place.... 

The man says, "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."

Man: "No sir, I was going 65."

Wife: "Oh, Harry.  You were going 80." (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light."

Man: "Broken tail light?  I didn't know about a broken tail light!"

Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks."
(The man gives his wife another dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seatbelt."

Man: "Oh I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."

Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt."

The man turns to his wife and screams, "BE QUIET!"

The Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"

The wife says, "No, only when he's drunk."

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