Thanksgiving Forecast Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.
During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.
A weight-watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.
By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.
- Elliot Abrams, excerpted from the forthcoming book, "Weather Prognosticators and the Media: Fallacies, Facts, and Fun in Forecasting", by Norm Macdonald