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    Stray Cat Rules

    Rules for Stray Cats 1. Stray cats will not be fed. 2. Stray cats will not be fed…
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    Lost Phone

    My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could…
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    Old Red

    Red Buttons, appearing on Dennis Miller's Show, announced he was 80 years old but that 80…
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    Strangest Dream

    "I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist."I saw my…
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    Life and Death

    A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:"Remember, the first five minutes…
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    Checking Newbie

    Her teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new…
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    Class Reunions

    Every ten years, as summertime nears,An announcement arrives in the mail,A reunion is…
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    Old Friends

    Amy and Judy are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long…
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    One Liners

    *43.3% of statistics are meaningless! *Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.…
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    Things You Will Never Hear

    Things you'll never hear a man say: 1) Here honey, you use the remote. 2) Ooh, Antonio…
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    Gore Flubs

    We've all flubbed things we were trying to say - here are some flubs attributed to Al…
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    VP Moniker

    The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good…
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    Hiccup Cure

    A man entered a drug store and asked to see the pharmacist. When the pharmacist came out,…
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    Golf Beginner

    A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.Thinking he'd try the game, he…
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    Golf Lesson

    This fellow's wife was constantly nagging him to teach her to play golf. Finally, one…

Taxiing down the tarmac, a jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.  After an hour long wait, it finally took off.  A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," he explained.

"So it took an hour to fix the problem?" she asked. 

"No," he replied, "It took us an hour to find a new pilot."

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