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More Jokes

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    Prescription Fail

    A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to…
  • dog lazy

    Dog Tricks

    *Mind Games You Can Play with Your Humans* 1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T…
  • circus

    Circus Try Out

    A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to Morris, the…
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    One-liners

    *43.3% of statistics are meaningless! *Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.…
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    Late For Class

    At the prestigious university there was a clear hierarchy that outlined how long one was…
  • peat moss

    No ID

    A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal…
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    $4,000 Hearing

    An elderly man inquired of his wife about a recent, large expense."Well yes I bought this…
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    Corrections

    IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our…
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    Movie Night

    My wife was complaining that I spend too much time on the computer, and not enough time…
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    Worm Stubborn

    Little Josh was brought to Dr Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days. Dr Gill…
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    Dear Marty

    Dear Marty, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter.…
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    Range Cancelled

    At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second…
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    Important Political Decisions

    As a recent high-school graduate, I traveled to our state capitol and got to visit the…
  • pig

    Pastor Comeback

    A local Pastor joined a community service club, and the members thought they would have…
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    Light Confusion

    A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday School presentation.His mother, sitting in the…
The confused goober:

1.  Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

2.  Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

3.  Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter.

4.  Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months and the box said "2 to 4 years."

5.  Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

6.  Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on the phone.

7.  When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C."

8.  Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

9.  Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.

10.  Hates M&Ms because they are so hard to peel.

11.  Got hurt while raking leaves: She fell out of the tree.

12.  Changes the baby's diaper only once a month because the label said up to 20 pounds.
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