The confused goober:
1. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.
2. Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
3. Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter.
4. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months and the box said "2 to 4 years."
5. Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
6. Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on the phone.
7. When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C."
8. Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
9. Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.
10. Hates M&Ms because they are so hard to peel.
11. Got hurt while raking leaves: She fell out of the tree.
12. Changes the baby's diaper only once a month because the label said up to 20 pounds.