logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Thank You Cards

    My first stop on my vacation was my sister's house in Montana. She's extremely organized.…
  • Default Image

    Return Policy

    The store's policy on returns was prominently posted at every register as well as…
  • Default Image

    Cheap Perfume

    After being away on business, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little…
  • usa map

    Mr. Jones Is History

    Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from…
  • Default Image

    Good Old Days

    Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in…
  • Default Image

    Time Off

    Two factory workers were talking. "I know how to get some time off from work." said the…
  • Default Image

    Where'd we get him?

    Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we…
  • Default Image

    Better Grades

    The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite…
  • Default Image

    Firehouse Training Session

    At a training session in the fire station, the team was assembled around the kitchen…
  • thermos

    Goober Return

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. A goober walks up…
  • Default Image

    Sauce Control Center

    Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she…
  • Default Image

    Cooking Terms

    *Cooking Terms*Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the…
  • Default Image

    Grandma and Computer

    The computer's swallowed grandmaYes' honestly' its true.She pressed 'control' and…
  • Default Image

    Blood Flow

    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter…
  • Default Image

    Lengthy Discourse

    A visiting minister was very long-winded. Worse, every time he would make a good point…

Lets face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What on earth does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.

Powered By JFBConnect