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    Jar 47

    A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody. Everyone was amazed…
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    Driving Around

    I tell you, men drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on Highway…
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    Return Policy

    The store's policy on returns was prominently posted at every register as well as…
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    Foul Suspicion

    After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went…
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    Tow Request

    The minister's car wouldn't start and so he called the garage to come and tow it in for…
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    Coffee Vending Machine

    A man put his fifty cents in a vending machine and watched helplessly while the cup…
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    Roughhousing

    A little boy was roughhousing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Peter, I know…
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    Good Guess

    The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the pre-school teacher in…
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    Cake Make Up

    On Coast Guard cutters, low-ranking crewmembers take turns in the galley helping the…
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    A Deeper Problem

    Little Johnny had been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten every day since he…
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    Jeep Stuck

    During training exercises, the green lieutenant was driving down a muddy back road. He…
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    28 Ounce Water Pump

    A woman calls an import parts warehouse and asks for a 28-ounce water pump."A what?" says…
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    Cancelling Cards

    Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so easy to…
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    Beware of Dog

    Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE…

Proofreading is an important job in many different fields.~ IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord."

~ It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.

~ There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which stated that Ed Burnham entertained a party at crap shooting. It should have been trap shooting.

~ There are two important corrections to the information in the update on our Deep Relaxation professional development program. First, the program will include meditation, not medication. Second, it is experiential, not experimental.

~ In the City Beat section of Friday's paper, firefighter Dwight Brady was misidentified. His nickname in the department is "Dewey." Another firefighter is nicknamed "Weirdo." We apologize for our mistake.

~ Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force. This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce.

~ In a recent edition, we referred to the chairman of Chrysler Corporation as Lee Iacoocoo. His real name is Lee Iacacca. The Gazette regrets the error.

~ Apology: I originally wrote, "Woodrow Wilson's wife grazed sheep on front lawn of the White House." I'm sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word "sheep."

~ In one edition of today's Food Section, an inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley's Southwestern chicken salad recipe. The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.

~ The marriage of Miss Freda vanAmburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to correct.

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