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    Computer One-liners - Part 3

    Computer One-liners - Part 3Programming Department: Mistakes made while you…
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    Parachute Training

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    Silent Drums

    An anthropologist was assigned to Borneo, where he found a guide with a canoe to take him…
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    Play-Off Tickets

    A man goes to the Chicago Bear ticket office and inquires about purchasing play-off…
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    Sunday Drive

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police…
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    Living History Museum

    Marv took his family to visit a living history museum, which included seeing houses and…
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    Chess Playing Dog

    A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He…
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    Get Moving

    While driving with my granddaughter, I was getting annoyed with the driver ahead of me…
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    Dial A Prayer Twist

    They have a Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now. You can call up and it rings and rings but…
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    Car 34

    A young man is an avid listener to the city's police frequency, and he leaves the scanner…
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    Removing The Dents

    A goober left his car out in a hail storm. When the storm was over he checked the car and…
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    Kid Say

    The best laughs I have known in life have been from my own children. I have captured…
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    Clerk Problem

    In a department store, Sandra and a patient clerk were having a hard time getting…
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    Sign Fun

    *Sign Fun*On a California freeway: Fine for LitteringIn the window of an Atlanta clothing…
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    Hurry Home

    It has to be confessed that the minister was rather long-winded. During his sermon a…

Proofreading is an important job in many different fields.~ IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord."

~ It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.

~ There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which stated that Ed Burnham entertained a party at crap shooting. It should have been trap shooting.

~ There are two important corrections to the information in the update on our Deep Relaxation professional development program. First, the program will include meditation, not medication. Second, it is experiential, not experimental.

~ In the City Beat section of Friday's paper, firefighter Dwight Brady was misidentified. His nickname in the department is "Dewey." Another firefighter is nicknamed "Weirdo." We apologize for our mistake.

~ Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force. This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce.

~ In a recent edition, we referred to the chairman of Chrysler Corporation as Lee Iacoocoo. His real name is Lee Iacacca. The Gazette regrets the error.

~ Apology: I originally wrote, "Woodrow Wilson's wife grazed sheep on front lawn of the White House." I'm sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word "sheep."

~ In one edition of today's Food Section, an inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley's Southwestern chicken salad recipe. The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.

~ The marriage of Miss Freda vanAmburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to correct.

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