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    Takes One To Know One

    Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Joe said to a fellow club member, "I'm…
  • An historic tour company dressed their employees in colonial dress.

    Colonial Break

    A company offered tours through the historic district, led by guides dressed in Colonial…
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    Hiccups

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
  • When luggage goes missing.

    Home For The Holidays

    A student was heading home for the holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she…
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    Textbook For Sale

    Cards offering used textbooks for sale are posted on the college notice board at the…
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    Card Dog

    A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog…
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    Divy It Up

    Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her…
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    GOLF, n.

    [1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad…
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    Cow Philosophies

    Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms. Socialism: you have two…
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    Home Maid Cure

    A business executive injured his leg skiing one weekend. By the time he got home Sunday,…
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    Diet Additive

    During one of our weekly weight-loss classes, the group leader was extolling the merits…
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    Scared vs. Apprehension

    As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night-time exercises. Once,…
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    Things You May Hear Just Before Unemployment

    - I don't know what we'll do without you, but we are going to try! - We told everyone you…
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    Get Moving

    While driving with my granddaughter, I was getting annoyed with the driver ahead of me…
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    Dough Boy Drive By

    WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (really from the Associated Press) Linda Burnett, 23, was…

'Twas the night before New Year,
and all through the nation,
We awaited Y2K,
the millennium sensation.
The chips were replaced in computers with care,
In hopes that "Ol' Bugsy" wouldn't stop there.
While some folks could think they were snug in their beds,
Others had visions of dread in their heads.
And Ma with her PC and I with my Mac
Had just logged on the Net and kicked back with a snack,
When over the server there arose such a chatter,
I called Mister Gates to see what was the matter.
But he was busted, so I flew like a flash,
Off to the bank to withdraw all my cash.
When what with my tearing eyes should I see?
My old ATM, as sick as could be.

Back on the net, The "Master Hacker" was looking so smug,
I knew he was spreading the Y2K Bug!!!
His image downloaded in no time at all,
he whistled and shouted, "Let all systems fall!!"
Go Intel! Go Gateway! Now HP! Big Blue!
Everything Compaq, and Pentium, too!
All processors big, all processors small,
Crash away! Crash away! Crash away all!!
All the controls that planes need for their flights,
All microwaves, trains, and all traffic lights.
As I drew in my breath and was turning around,
out through the modem, he came with a bound.

He was covered with fur, and slung on his back
was a sack full of viruses, set for attack.
His eyes - how they sparked! His fingers how hairy!
As midnight approached, things now became scary.
He had a broad little face and a round little belly,
and his sack filled with viruses quivered like jelly.
He was chubby and plump, evilly grinning,
and he laughed when my hard drive stopped spinning.
A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head,
soon gave me a new feeling of dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
he stopped all the clocks, then turned with a jerk.
With a twitch of his nose, and a sly little wink,
all things electronic soon went on the blink.

He zoomed from my system, to the next folks on line,
to spread mass disruption, like a creeping vine
Then I heard him exclaim, with a loud, hearty cry,
Happy Y2K to all, Kiss your PC's good-bye!

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