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  • clothes pants

    Wait Watching

    Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her…
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    Commercial Reward

    At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for John to comment on my first attempt at…
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    Do You Have?

    A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do…
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    Rank Explanation

    My brother Ken was home on leave from his post in Hawaii, when he announced that he had…
  • doctor file

    What Doctors are Thinking

    What doctors say, and what they're really thinking: "This should be taken care of right…
  • boots

    Boot Lesson

    A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on. He asked for…
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    Heard By Tech

    Things heard by tech support:Customer: "I have Microword Soft."Customer: "Microwave…
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    A Goober Wins

    A goober goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee a sits down to drink it. He looks on the…
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    Burglary

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    Mother Ring

    While picking up a prescription, I noticed that the woman who gave me my medication was…
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    Halloween Pun

    Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, were vacationing in Europe -- as it happens, in…
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    Tired Mom

    I had put in an 18-hour day at work and was upset to find my four-year-old Zack asleep in…
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    Holding Hands

    While at the mall, I saw an elderly couple holding hands while they were walking. As they…
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    First Things First

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the…
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    Real Newspaper Ads

    These are real ads from a newspaper. 1. 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850 or best offer 2.…

Twas the night of Tax Day, and all thru the house,

Every creature was whirring, even the mouse.

The floppy was placed in the disk drive with care,

In certainty Saint Silicon soon would be there.

The chips were nestled All snug in their sockets,

Their RAM filled with visions of STARWARS and ROCKETS.

And Mamma in her kerchief and I in my cap

Had just settled down for a long ev'ning's rap,

When out of the drives there arose such a racket,

I raised up my fist, right ready to whack it.

Away to the printer I flew like a flash,

And I swore that I'd change my brand of hash!

More rapid than junk FAX these tax forms they came,

And it booped and it beeped and it called 'em by name:

Now Form 1040! Now Form 1065! Now Schedules A and D too!

On! Form 1120! Form 4562!! Form 1098!!! Form 8362!!!!

To the top of the ladder,

To The Top of The Heap!

Just go away, Go Away!

I gotta sleep.

As stray bits which down the cable do fly,

When they meet with the processor, soon go awry,

So up the tab all these taxes they flew,

With a surtax and threats of penalty and interest too!

Now it may be some virus was having its yucks,

But the total was over 87 kilobux.

So she read all the Pubs, and she said, "What the heck!"

Then we signed all the forms, and we wrote 'em a check.

And crossing her fingers and blowing her nose

And giving a nod, from her chair she arose.

She ran to her van, to the key gave a twist,

With a spray of gravel, she shook her fist,

And I heard her exclaim as she roared out of sight--

"I think in Paducah they'll postmark it midnight."

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