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    Because I Am A Guy

    Because I am A Guy... ..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I…
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    Brother Review

    Arriving for a visit, a woman asked her small grand daughter, "How do you like your new…
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    Chute Error

    While being transported to basic training as a new enlistee of the Air National Guard, I…
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    Back In Office

    When I became a licensed chiropractor, I moved back to my hometown and soon had a…
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    Dentist Bill

    A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained.…
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    Three Mothers

    Three mothers are sitting on a park bench talking about (what else?) how much their sons…
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    Chewed Out

    My wife chewed me out at the company picnic a while back. "Doesn't it embarrass you that…
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    Lost Ball

    My job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18…
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    Counting the Days

    A fellow cop from our precinct had only a few months left on the job, and he could always…
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    Unfinished Quest

    Long, long ago an old Indian chief was about to die, so he called for Geronimo and…
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    Painted Sunset

    Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying…
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    Lost Bible

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the…
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    If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals

    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very…
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    Bananas

    As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if…
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    Foreign Languages

    A Swiss guy visited Sydney, Australia, and pulled up at a bus stop where two locals were…

Twas the night of Tax Day, and all thru the house,

Every creature was whirring, even the mouse.

The floppy was placed in the disk drive with care,

In certainty Saint Silicon soon would be there.

The chips were nestled All snug in their sockets,

Their RAM filled with visions of STARWARS and ROCKETS.

And Mamma in her kerchief and I in my cap

Had just settled down for a long ev'ning's rap,

When out of the drives there arose such a racket,

I raised up my fist, right ready to whack it.

Away to the printer I flew like a flash,

And I swore that I'd change my brand of hash!

More rapid than junk FAX these tax forms they came,

And it booped and it beeped and it called 'em by name:

Now Form 1040! Now Form 1065! Now Schedules A and D too!

On! Form 1120! Form 4562!! Form 1098!!! Form 8362!!!!

To the top of the ladder,

To The Top of The Heap!

Just go away, Go Away!

I gotta sleep.

As stray bits which down the cable do fly,

When they meet with the processor, soon go awry,

So up the tab all these taxes they flew,

With a surtax and threats of penalty and interest too!

Now it may be some virus was having its yucks,

But the total was over 87 kilobux.

So she read all the Pubs, and she said, "What the heck!"

Then we signed all the forms, and we wrote 'em a check.

And crossing her fingers and blowing her nose

And giving a nod, from her chair she arose.

She ran to her van, to the key gave a twist,

With a spray of gravel, she shook her fist,

And I heard her exclaim as she roared out of sight--

"I think in Paducah they'll postmark it midnight."

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