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    Golf Hole

    A young minister and Mr. Sims, an elderly parishioner, were playing golf. The minister's…
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    Apology

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    Diet Skipping

    Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat…
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    Rest Home Trial

    Aunt Mary, a spinster of 92, had finally consented to go to a rest home, but strictly on…
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    Funeral Music

    At our local crematorium families are given the chance to chose the music CD they would…
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    Technical Terms for the Strictly Amish

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    Speeding Hymns

    If you MUST speed on the highway, sing these hymns loudly:at 45 mph.... "God Will Take…
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    Published Sermons

    After a particularly inspiring worship service, a church member greeted the pastor.…
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    Materialistic Or What?

    A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jag XK-8 in front of the office, ready to…
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    Back To School

    After raising 4 kids, and losing one husband, I decided to return to college and get the…
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    Maid Mother

    For all their lives, my three sons have been told they have to do their chores around the…
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    Missing The Obvious

    One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy…
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    Cat's Guide For Human Care

    More Excerpts from "The Cat's Guide To Caring For Your Human. Cats are beautiful,…
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    Finch Flush

    When my youngest son was three years old, one of his finches died. It was winter so we…
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    Dependents

    A man submitting information to his income tax preparer was asked how many dependents he…

And after all is said and done.....the kitchen cleaned up,
the football game is over, the kids have FINALLY gone
to bed and you lie quietly thinking about your day.........
your tummy starts to rumble....

Twas the night of Thanksgiving, But I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep;
The leftovers beckoned --- The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation......
The thought of a snack became infatuation.....
So I raced to the kitchen, Flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
Till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground !!

I crashed through the ceiling...Floating into the sky....
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie,
But I managed to yell as I soared past the trees.........

HAPPY EATING TO ALL !!
PASS THE CRANBERRIES PLEASE !!

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