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    Priest Twin

    Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for…
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    Card Cover Up

    A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card. The…
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    Unwise Application Lines

    Readers of the Washington Post were asked to compose a very unwise line for a college…
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    Charity Better than Expected

    Members of the Methodist women's church circle in one Wisconsin town some years ago were…
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    Not Going to Church

    One Sunday morning, a mother knocks on her son's bedroom door and tells him it's time to…
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    Signs of the Times

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    Restaurant Return

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    Shovel Need

    One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have…
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    Bachelor Cooking

    Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.…
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    No Matter What

    Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they…
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    Thoughtful Sidney

    Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a…
  • A funny diatribe about children and parenting

    Lamentation For Our Kids

    This is rather lengthy but funny. *Laws Pertaining to Dessert* For we judge between the…
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    What Is That?

    A young man who left his home in Texas at an early age, finally purchased his own ranch…
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    Used Lawn Mower

    A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard…
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    Possessed Computer?

    For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers…

For all of us guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You
don't get any points for doing something she expects...Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Simple Duties:
You make the Bed.....................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.........0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.......................-1
You leave the toilet seat up......................................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it's empty..................0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.......-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2
You check out a suspicious noise at night .....................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing...............0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something...........+5
You pummel it with a six iron................................+10
It's her father.............................................-10

Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner..................................0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ......+1
Okay, it is a sports bar..................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.............................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team..................-10

A Night Out With The Boys:
Go out with a pal .........................................-5
And the pal is happily married ............................-4
Or frighteningly single ...................................-7
And he drives a Mustang..................................-10

A Night Out:
You take her to a movie.........................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes..............................+4
You take her to a movie you hate...............................+6
You take her to a movie you like................................-2
It's called DeathCop 3..........................................-3
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans .........-15

Your Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly...............................-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it....+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts....................................-30
You say "I don't give a darn because you have one too"........-800

The Big Question:
She asks, "Do I look fat?" .....................................-5
You hesitate in responding.....................................-10
You reply, "Where?".............................................-35

Communication:
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression...............................0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes..........+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep...............-20

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