logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • A funny clean joke about a dog and a truck and a parking lot.

    Dog Driver

    As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind…
  • Default Image

    Grandpa's Gift

    The following is a true story submitted by list member Mary Lou F. from Kincardine,…
  • telephone pole_marker

    County Employees

    A fellow stopped at a rural gas station, filled his tank, and took a break by his car…
  • Default Image

    Top 17 Inspirational Messages Not Heard at Work

    (17) There is no "I" in "teamwork"...But there is in "management kiss-up". (16) If you do…
  • Doctor helps wife with husband's snoring

    Financing Surgery

    A woman had a medical problem - her husband's snoring. So, she called the doctor one…
  • Default Image

    Pig Feed

    There was a farmer who had many pigs. One day someone went to the farm and asked the…
  • Default Image

    If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer

    If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!To get…
  • Default Image

    Flossing

    As a dental hygienist, I always encourage patients to floss. During one cleaning, the…
  • Default Image

    Say Something Positive

    A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a…
  • Default Image

    Great Eyesight

    An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defence lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see…
  • Default Image

    Cake Disaster

    Many years ago my just married young cousin moved into an upstairs apartment and invited…
  • Default Image

    Finding The Cat's Diary

    Day 752 - My captors continue to haunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine…
  • Default Image

    Goober On The Net

    A goober went to his mail box several times before it was even time for the mailman to…
  • Default Image

    Jasper and the Unbaked Yeast Rolls

    We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the summer of 2001 from the…
  • Default Image

    Whisper Shock

    When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my…

For all of us guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You
don't get any points for doing something she expects...Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Simple Duties:
You make the Bed.....................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.........0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.......................-1
You leave the toilet seat up......................................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it's empty..................0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.......-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2
You check out a suspicious noise at night .....................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing...............0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something...........+5
You pummel it with a six iron................................+10
It's her father.............................................-10

Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner..................................0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ......+1
Okay, it is a sports bar..................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.............................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team..................-10

A Night Out With The Boys:
Go out with a pal .........................................-5
And the pal is happily married ............................-4
Or frighteningly single ...................................-7
And he drives a Mustang..................................-10

A Night Out:
You take her to a movie.........................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes..............................+4
You take her to a movie you hate...............................+6
You take her to a movie you like................................-2
It's called DeathCop 3..........................................-3
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans .........-15

Your Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly...............................-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it....+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts....................................-30
You say "I don't give a darn because you have one too"........-800

The Big Question:
She asks, "Do I look fat?" .....................................-5
You hesitate in responding.....................................-10
You reply, "Where?".............................................-35

Communication:
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression...............................0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes..........+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep...............-20

Powered By JFBConnect