logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Wedding Album

    At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember…
  • Default Image

    Vet Visit

    In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance.…
  • Default Image

    Pickup Backfire

    Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the floor of her son's room, a mother finally…
  • Default Image

    Find and Replace

    The age of the computer brings much ease and expertise to the preparation of the worship…
  • Default Image

    Strange Problem

    A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day."Doc, there's something…
  • Default Image

    The 3 stages of man

    The 3 stages of man:He believes in Santa Claus.He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.He is…
  • Default Image

    Thoughts on Genealogy

    ~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.~ I trace my family history so I will…
  • Default Image

    Dog Meters

    Two dogs out and about, walk over to a parking meter.One says to the other, "How do you…
  • Default Image

    Mom's Clarinet

    My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was…
  • picture of a cactus

    Arizona Rain

    A visitor once asked, "Does it ever rain in Arizona?" A rancher quickly answered, "Yes,…
  • Default Image

    That's the Way . . .

    Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put…
  • Default Image

    Frazzled Doctor

    As soon as I stepped into the urgent-care facility in my hometown, I could see the place…
  • Default Image

    Grasping Challenge

    When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept…
  • Default Image

    New Windows Error Messages

    Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.…
  • Default Image

    Knee Tattoo

    A hospital corpsman and I were getting an elderly retired master chief petty officer out…

For all of us guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You
don't get any points for doing something she expects...Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Simple Duties:
You make the Bed.....................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.........0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.......................-1
You leave the toilet seat up......................................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it's empty..................0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.......-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2
You check out a suspicious noise at night .....................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing...............0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something...........+5
You pummel it with a six iron................................+10
It's her father.............................................-10

Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner..................................0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ......+1
Okay, it is a sports bar..................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.............................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team..................-10

A Night Out With The Boys:
Go out with a pal .........................................-5
And the pal is happily married ............................-4
Or frighteningly single ...................................-7
And he drives a Mustang..................................-10

A Night Out:
You take her to a movie.........................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes..............................+4
You take her to a movie you hate...............................+6
You take her to a movie you like................................-2
It's called DeathCop 3..........................................-3
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans .........-15

Your Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly...............................-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it....+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts....................................-30
You say "I don't give a darn because you have one too"........-800

The Big Question:
She asks, "Do I look fat?" .....................................-5
You hesitate in responding.....................................-10
You reply, "Where?".............................................-35

Communication:
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression...............................0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes..........+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep...............-20

Powered By JFBConnect