logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • map forest

    Wilderness Guide

    "We pass this way but once," we have heard it said. But my wife has learned that, unless…
  • Default Image

    Pig Feed

    There was a farmer who had many pigs. One day someone went to the farm and asked the…
  • Default Image

    75 Stories

    Fred, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the…
  • Default Image

    Efficient Breakfast

    The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to…
  • Default Image

    Restaurant Service

    The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a…
  • Default Image

    Ungrateful Son-In-Law

    A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter,…
  • Default Image

    More Strange Warnings

    Here are some more strange warnings on items.On a packet of juggling balls:"This product…
  • Default Image

    Serious Shopper

    I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just…
  • child2

    Name That Baby

    When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen.…
  • pond

    Wet Clothes

    Cassie was a really good mom. When her children were growing up, her one son gave her…
  • Default Image

    Coast Guard Lingo

    When my husband joined the Coast Guard, I knew there would be some adjustments. Not only…
  • Default Image

    Hamster Care

    After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom,…
  • Default Image

    Keyboard Jockey Exercise

    For those keyboard jockeys (those with jobs that require sitting at a computer all day)…
  • Default Image

    Quiz Query

    My daughter's 5th-grade class had been studying astronomy.One morning at breakfast she…
  • Default Image

    Movie Breakout

    A fellow took his girlfriend to the movies. During the previews, she asked him if he…

Now here's one for all you combat veterans, corporate bureaucrats, folks in the marketplace and those with "emotionally challenged" relationships.
Notice that the rules are generally transferable from one to the other and that the consequences are roughly comparable.

The Rules of Combat
1.  If the enemy is in range, so are you.

2.  Incoming fire has the right of way.

3.  Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.

4.  The easy way is always mined.

5.  Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

6.  Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.

7.  The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions:
a.  When you're ready for them.
b.  When you're not ready for them.

8.  Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.

9a.  Claymores are labelled "This side toward enemy" for a reason.

9b.  If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.

10.  If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

11.  Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.

12.  The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

13.  When the pin is pulled, Mr.  Grenade is *not* our friend.

14.  If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.

15.  When in doubt empty the magazine.

16.  Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.

17.  Anything you do can get you shot.  Including doing nothing.

18.  Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

19.  Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

20.  A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

21.  Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.

22.  The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.

23.  Five second fuses only last three seconds.

24.  It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

Powered By JFBConnect