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  • sick

    Sick Days

    It was the toughest experience of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then…
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    Missed Call

    My daughter Marina worked in my law office while she attended graduate school. One…
  • warning sign clown

    Wacky Warnings

    Here are the top five winning entries in the Wacky Warning Labels contest, sponsored by…
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    Eyes Gone

    Yesterday I went to the opticians, walked up to the counter and said to the guy on duty,…
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    Charity Answer

    Father O'Shea, the parish priest in the village, was giving a sermon about charity. He…
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    New Light Switch

    My husband decided life would be easier if he wired a new light switch in the master…
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    Who's The Expert?

    On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars…
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    Did You See That?

    Tom and Darryl were out hunting deer. Tom asked, "Did you see that?" "No," Darryl…
  • keyboard-organ

    Hymns For The Aging

    *Hymns for the Aging* Precious Lord, Take my Hand (And Help Me Get Up) It is Well with My…
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    Chow

    "Chow looks wonderful," I told the mess sergeant, a large, intimidating man. "I'd love…
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    French Dream

    A boy was having a lot of difficulty in French class.To encourage him, his teacher said,…
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    Name Confusion

    Working at an airline ticket counter, I pulled up a passenger's reservation that showed…
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    Think of a Number

    Think of a number.Multiply it by 3.Now add 5.Take away the number you first thought…
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    Overdue at the Movies

    Tired from waiting for their overdue baby, my daughter and her husband broke the monotony…
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    Walk-in Scream

    A woman went to a walk-in clinic, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about…

crowd110. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave."

9. Do a halftime trampoline show.

8. With your buddies, spell out your child's name on your chests.

7. Mimic the conductor.

6. Start a paper airplane contest with the program.

5. Clip your toenails.

4. Wear a multi-colored wig and hold up a large, confusing sign.

3. In the middle of the violin piece, say loudly to the person next to you,
"That reminds me...I need to take our cat to the vet."

2. Wear your wife's old cheerleading outfit.

1. Two words: cow bell.

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