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  • river

    Lunch On The Bank

    A pastor and two of his deacons are out on the river fishing in their rowboat. Twelve…
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    Things You Will Never Hear

    Things you'll never hear a man say: 1) Here honey, you use the remote. 2) Ooh, Antonio…
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    Still More Bulletin Bloopers

    Several members who have been in the hospital are not on their way to recovery, for which…
  • donut

    Second Grade Math

    I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that was learning about…
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    Better Preacher

    After the visiting preacher finished, a woman came up and said, "You were much better…
  • football

    Football Newbie

    A guy took his girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked…
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    Mint Mom

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
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    A Few Fishing Definitions

    HOOK - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement used to…
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    Snack Costs

    My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor…
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    Handy Gadget

    After shopping at a busy store, another woman and I happened to leave at the same time,…
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    Red, White and Blue

    A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American."Our…
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    Bunch Of Laughs

    Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: The Gate of…
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    Sam's Fishing

    A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish…
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    Rank Explanation

    My brother Ken was home on leave from his post in Hawaii, when he announced that he had…
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    Lost in the Woods

    Two hunters got lost in the woods. The first hunter said, "Don't worry. All we have to do…

The turkey shot out of the oven
and rocketed into the air,
it knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner and
burst with a deafening boom,
then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,
it totally coated the floor,
there was turkey attached to the ceiling,
where there'd never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance,
it smeared every saucer and bowl,
there wasn't a way I could stop it,
that turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
that I'd never again stuff a turkey
with popcorn that hadn't been popped.

- By Jack Prelutsky

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