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    Quickest Way to York

    A man approached a local person in a village he was visiting. "What's the quickest way to…
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    Thanksgiving Grace

    My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks. When they were…
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    Landing Request

    There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his…
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    Vacuum Repair

    My sister has the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle any home-repair…
  • Signs of our Time

    Signs of the Times

    In a veterinarian's office:"All unattended children given free kitten" In the parking lot…
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    Speech Flirt

    During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man.…
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    Where's God?

    Two brothers in a small town were well-known as trouble makers. If there was a problem in…
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    Cat's Guide For Human Care

    More Excerpts from "The Cat's Guide To Caring For Your Human. Cats are beautiful,…
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    Signs of Banned Substances

    Signs That An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance:Gets "psyched" before each competition…
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    Pink Humvees

    Our division had to repaint our Humvees to a sand color for Desert Storm. The result was…
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    Eye Exam

    Eye-examination charts vary according to the manufacturer, but one thing they have in…
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    Movie Impatience

    We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it…
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    New Russian

    I just returned from a mission trip in Belarus, where we were building churches. My…
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    Freeway Repair

    An off-ramp of a freeway in Long Beach, CA, has been torn up for years.Recently, someone…
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    Hymns vs. Choruses

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HYMNS AND PRAISE CHORUSES An old farmer went to the city one…

The turkey shot out of the oven
and rocketed into the air,
it knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner and
burst with a deafening boom,
then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,
it totally coated the floor,
there was turkey attached to the ceiling,
where there'd never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance,
it smeared every saucer and bowl,
there wasn't a way I could stop it,
that turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
that I'd never again stuff a turkey
with popcorn that hadn't been popped.

- By Jack Prelutsky

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