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    Too Late To Date

    After the death of a never married 94-year old spinster of his parish, the rector was…
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    Dog Errand

    A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away.…
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    Living to 104

    At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his…
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    Dollar Measure

    Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother, Josh, and I decided to…
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    Signs Your SUV Is Too Big

    Signs Your SUV Is Too Big~ The last time you took your kids to a Monster Truck pull the…
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    Banking Woes

    The girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial…
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    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
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    Stern Announcement

    During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and…
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    Ways To Drive A Man Crazy

    ~ Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. ~ Organize his workshop,…
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    Tracing Family

    Dear Abby:I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to…
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    Three Day Silence

    My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what…
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    Einstein At A Party

    Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and…
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    Australian Football

    I'd heard that Australian football is a lot rougher than the American version, but never…
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    Snack Costs

    My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor…
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    Egg Contents

    One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached…

A goober named Laura is at a local zoo and comes across a vending machine, which she has never seen before. She sees the slot for money, gets money out of her purse, puts $.65 into the machine, and pushes a letter and a number. She is mesmerised by the coils turning just enough to let out the candy. So, she does this many more times. After a little while, a man comes up behind her and says, "Miss, could you please move? I would like to get some candy."

She replies with, "Excuse me?! Can't you see I'm winning here?!?!"

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