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  • Default Image

    Census Taker

    An old man was sitting on his porch, when a young man walked up with a pad and pencil in…
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    Meet the Parents

    A young man looking to get married asked his friend. "Every woman I bring home to meet my…
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    Time To Go

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
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    How Do You Spell That

    Lena passed away and Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she would send…
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    Why Don't I see You?

    A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and as always the preacher was…
  • hat in_the_cold

    Tim Robbed

    One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Tim and the…
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    Help Desk

    A man who worked the help desk for a large company received a call one day from a…
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    Meatloaf

    A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make…
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    Thanksgiving Grace

    My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks. When they were…
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    Getting Ready

    A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey,…
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    Moon Cheese

    For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese.Then the astronauts found…
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    Turtle Keeper

    Martin was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the…
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    Open Microphone

    While my son was on the Navy carrier USS George Washington, the air wing was busy with…
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    Banking Hiccup

    While waiting in line at the bank, a coworker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    Things You Will Never Hear

    Things you'll never hear a man say: 1) Here honey, you use the remote. 2) Ooh, Antonio…

This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard.  He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws.  The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model.  This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day."

So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees.  After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit.  He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw.  "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?" the man asks himself.  "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day," the man tells himself.  So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords.

The man is convinced this is a bad saw.  "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem.  I will take this saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself.

The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem.  The dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case.  The dealer says, "Hmm, it looks fine."

Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, "What's that noise?

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