2020: I’m going to ask my Mom if that offer to slap me into next year is still on the table.
2020: It’s like being 16 again. Gas is cheap and I’m grounded!
2020: Police calling out over a blow horn, “Come out with your hands washed!”
2020: Tornado warning tomorrow. Lock the kids in the bathroom. They can’t come out until you shout, “All clear!”
2020: I’m as bored as an Amish electrician.
2020: And just like that…having a mask, rubber gloves, duct tape, plastic sheeting and rope in your trunk is OK.
2020: Ask not what staying home on the couch can do for you, but what staying home on the couch can do for your country.
2020: Ladies…time to start dating the older dudes. They can get you into the grocery store early.
2020: I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.
2020: It’s been a blessing being home with the wife for three weeks now. We’ve caught up on everything I’ve done wrong for fifteen years.