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More Jokes

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    Matchmaker

    Barbie, a waitress, decided to put her matchmaking skills to the test with our mutual…
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    Two by Fours

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    Black Snake

    It was the first camping experience for Jed. As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went…
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    Doctor's Advice

    A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. "Doc, there's…
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    Government Car

    As my husband, the county highway commissioner, was driving to the hospital for treatment…
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    Popping Ears

    Aboard a flight from L.A. to New York, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight.…
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    Inspiring Music

    A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to…
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    Dieting Buddies

    Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on…
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    Hearing Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed.One…
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    Famous Last Words

    *Famous Last Words* *Ha! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist... *Don't unplug it,…
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    Babies at the Mall

    A young mother was standing outside a mall holding her six-month-old baby and her…
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    Campaign Funding

    Can you believe a candidate dropped out of the race because of a lack of campaign funds?…
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    Fine Request

    A pickpocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. "Mr. Brewster," the…
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    Ironic Phone Call

    A guy showed up at church with both of his ears burned. His chum asked, "what happened to…
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    Collectable Receipts

    An woman went to traffic violation court for speeding, lost the argument as it always…

Theories Of Cat Behavior

LAW OF CAT INERTIA

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

LAW OF CAT MOTION

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

FIRST LAW OF CAT ENERGY CONSERVATION

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

LAW OF BAG/BOX OCCUPANCY

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

LAW OF FURNITURE REPLACEMENT

A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

LAW OF CAT COMPOSITION

A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-matter + It Doesn't Matter.

LAW OF CAT OBEDIENCE

As yet undiscovered.

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