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More Jokes

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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans - #1

    Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.As a computer, I find your faith in technology…
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    Last One Comeback

    A widow, recently married to a widower, was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked,…
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    911 Sees All

    Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of…
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    Mr. Sugarbrown's Daughter

    A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."…
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    Top 10 Signs Your Vet Bill Is Going To Require Financing

    -- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars. -- The bill came…
  • man3

    Your Turn

    A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried…
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    You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:

    You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:* Your potted plants stay alive.* 6:00…
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    Crate of Chickens

    The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had…
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    Stern Announcement

    During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and…
  • picture of rain on window

    Dark and Stormy Ride

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Two-Part Question

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $50,000 Question. The night before the…
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    Toy Advice

    A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional…
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    New Neighbor

    My quiet Saturday morning ended abruptly when my 12-year-old son, Billy, and one of his…
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    Wrong Guard

    It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised…
  • Tourist asks cabbie if Israel is really a healthy country.

    Healthy Tourism

    Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Israel. In an airport taxi cab, Peterson…

Theories Of Cat Behavior

LAW OF CAT INERTIA

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

LAW OF CAT MOTION

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

FIRST LAW OF CAT ENERGY CONSERVATION

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

LAW OF BAG/BOX OCCUPANCY

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

LAW OF FURNITURE REPLACEMENT

A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

LAW OF CAT COMPOSITION

A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-matter + It Doesn't Matter.

LAW OF CAT OBEDIENCE

As yet undiscovered.

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