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More Jokes

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    Tips For The Clueless

    Some Tips for the Clueless If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by…
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    Work Confusion

    A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks.The man was…
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    Blind Pilots

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
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    Meatloaf

    A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make…
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    One-liners

    1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.2. Make yourself at home! Clean my…
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    Kitchen Help

    The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and…
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    First Time Skydiver

    A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems…
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    Rules for Laboratory Workers

    Rules for Laboratory Workers 1. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly. 2.…
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    King of The Jungle

    The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decided to make sure…
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    General Motors Help Line

    General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because…
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    The Good Old Days

    Grandpa and Grandpa were sitting in their porch rockers watching the beautiful sunset and…
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    Mummy Heart Failure

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket…
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    Landing Check

    I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in…
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    Needle Manners

    While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving…
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    Just A Kiss Per Yard

    Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy…

Theories Of Cat Behavior

LAW OF CAT INERTIA

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

LAW OF CAT MOTION

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

FIRST LAW OF CAT ENERGY CONSERVATION

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

LAW OF BAG/BOX OCCUPANCY

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

LAW OF FURNITURE REPLACEMENT

A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

LAW OF CAT COMPOSITION

A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-matter + It Doesn't Matter.

LAW OF CAT OBEDIENCE

As yet undiscovered.

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