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    Good Guess

    The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the pre-school teacher in…
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    Sharon's Shampoo

    Hi, pastor Tim! This is a story of something I did to myself not too long ago. I live in…
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    No Contraband

    After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother…
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    Goober Border Patrol

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    Hand Signals

    A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-year-old teacher because her hand signals were…
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    Anesthesia

    An oral surgeon was scheduled to extract four wisdom teeth from Jim, a high-school…
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    Go Get Grandma

    When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging…
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    Cadet Sign

    When my brother was a cadet at the U.S. Air Force Academy, there was an overhead walkway…
  • A funny clean joke about a dog and a truck and a parking lot.

    Dog Driver

    As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind…
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    Card Name

    A customer called the airline's reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit…
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    Laws of Computing

    *Laws of Computing* * When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to…
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    Mouse Trap

    A woman rushes into a hardware store and said, "Can I have a mouse trap, please? And will…
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    Thanksgiving Forecast

    Thanksgiving Forecast Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an…
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    You know you're growing old when..

    You know you're growing old when..You've come to the annoying realization that your…
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    Cheap Loan

    Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York…
*Winners of a Recent Theory Testing Contest*

HONOURABLE MENTION:
The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant.  If omitted in one place, they turn up in another.  When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in"erl wells."

RUNNERS-UP:

#4 The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation.  Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

#3 Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas at a faster rate.

#2 Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums.  This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.

#1 If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.


GRAND PRIZE WINNER
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down.  I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground.  With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.
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