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    Wrapping Presents With A Cat

    Wrapping Presents With A Cat1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.2. Go to…
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    Landing in the Fog

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    Put or Putt?

    A teacher was taking her first golf lesson."Is the word spelled 'put' or 'putt'?" she…
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    Sweat Dreams

    While on vacation with my son and his family, I shared a room with my 4 year old…
  • car theft

    Car Alarms

    I was with a friend in a cafe' when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation. "What…
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    Overheard At The Cemetery

    These two boys filled up a bucket of nuts and sat down by the tree. Out of sight, they…
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    Legal Contracts

    The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to…
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    Parrot Skills

    A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three…
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    School Notes

    The following notes from parents excusing their children from attending school have been…
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    Goobers Fishing

    Three goobers are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in…
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    Bike Training

    Never having learned to ride a bicycle as a child, I finally decided to do it in my late…
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    Jack's Will

    Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's last will…
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    I Always Wondered About That

    During a summer break from my studies at an engineering university, I worked in a scrap…
  • old lady

    AAADD

    They have finally found a diagnosis for my condition. Hooray!! I have recently been…
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    Crash Report

    As he reviewed pilot crash reports, my Air Force military science professor stumbled upon…
*Winners of a Recent Theory Testing Contest*

HONOURABLE MENTION:
The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant.  If omitted in one place, they turn up in another.  When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in"erl wells."

RUNNERS-UP:

#4 The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation.  Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

#3 Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas at a faster rate.

#2 Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums.  This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.

#1 If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.


GRAND PRIZE WINNER
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down.  I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground.  With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.
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