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More Jokes

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    Cake Question

    While working at Baskin-Robbins, I helped a woman, who was full of questions about the…
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    Kitchen Cry

    Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Miriam in the kitchen…
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    Towel Misunderstanding

    One day a child at my four-year-old's Sunday school class told her classmates that she…
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    Medical News

    Dr. Mike Wilson asks his patient, "Which do you want first, the good news or the bad…
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    New Convert Help

    He was not well-educated and rather rough and crude around the edges, but he was recently…
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    Fore!

    My five-year-old nephew wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game. "You have to count my…
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    Run Through the Woods

    Two campers, both in the 60s are walking through the woods. A huge brown bear suddenly…
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    Why Don't I see You?

    A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and as always the preacher was…
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    Golf Deduction

    Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, a priest and three other men of the cloth…
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    Miracle Cure

    Doctor Bloom who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis had a waiting room full of…
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    How Does This Work?

    Bob was on vacation, visiting a Las Vegas casino for the first time. He decided to play…
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    Wedding Tears

    During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying until she glanced at…
  • Poorly worded ad causes trouble.

    Sewing Machine Ad

    The following is an ad from a newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last…
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    Foot Pill

    A man limped into a hospital to have his foot X-rayed, and was asked to wait for the…
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    Goober On The Net

    A goober went to his mail box several times before it was even time for the mailman to…

Things dogs should try to remember:

  • The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff even though I haven't got a chance to rip the bag to shreds to see what was in it.
  • I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
  • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
  • I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
  • I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
  • I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up or have an accident.
  • I will not throw up in the car.
  • I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
  • I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
  • I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am haemorrhaging.
  • I will not take whatever I please and hide it under the bed so my people can have a scavenger hunt looking for it.
  • When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
  • The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
  • My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
  • I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
  • I will not stand around Mom when she is cooking or when she is carrying her coffee, so she won't trip over me.
  • I will not beg for food at the supper table, and especially not eat someone's food if they leave it for just a moment.
  • I will not tear up the patio furniture, or put holes in the screen so I may jump in and lounge, just because I don't want to stay outside for more than 2 minutes.
  • I will not chase the cat, and knock over breakable things in the process.
  • We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
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