logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Things Dogs Should Try to Remember

Things dogs should try to remember:

  • The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff even though I haven't got a chance to rip the bag to shreds to see what was in it.
  • I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
  • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
  • I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
  • I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
  • I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up or have an accident.
  • I will not throw up in the car.
  • I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
  • I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
  • I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am haemorrhaging.
  • I will not take whatever I please and hide it under the bed so my people can have a scavenger hunt looking for it.
  • When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
  • The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
  • My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
  • I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
  • I will not stand around Mom when she is cooking or when she is carrying her coffee, so she won't trip over me.
  • I will not beg for food at the supper table, and especially not eat someone's food if they leave it for just a moment.
  • I will not tear up the patio furniture, or put holes in the screen so I may jump in and lounge, just because I don't want to stay outside for more than 2 minutes.
  • I will not chase the cat, and knock over breakable things in the process.
  • We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Positive Start

    How to start your day with a positive outlook.1. Open a new file in your PC.2. Name it…
  • Default Image

    Foot Pill

    A man limped into a hospital to have his foot X-rayed, and was asked to wait for the…
  • Default Image

    Speeding Stories

    *PULLED OVER* "Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. The lady complied, and the…
  • A funny joke about 2 men in their fancy cars.

    Bragging Rights

    A limousine had encountered a red traffic light and was waiting for it to change when a…
  • Default Image

    Potato Problem

    Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his…
  • Default Image

    New Friend Sincerity

    Last summer my wife and I met a couple at a restaurant. After lunch, the women decided to…
  • Default Image

    Birth Warp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
  • picture of a serious sister

    Chose Your Weapon

    Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn…
  • Default Image

    Warning Sign

    Vacationing in Alaska, I couldn't help but notice all the warnings about bears posted in…
  • Default Image

    Bar Room Houdini

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
  • Default Image

    Wedding Album

    At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember…
  • Default Image

    Notice

    PLEASE NOTICE:You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice.…
  • man outraged

    Bad Sign

    A little boy just couldn't learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the…
  • Default Image

    Cough Remedy

    The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against the wall. The…
  • Default Image

    Computer One-liners - Part 3

    Computer One-liners - Part 3Programming Department: Mistakes made while you…