logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Things Dogs Should Try to Remember

Things dogs should try to remember:

  • The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff even though I haven't got a chance to rip the bag to shreds to see what was in it.
  • I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
  • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
  • I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
  • I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
  • I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up or have an accident.
  • I will not throw up in the car.
  • I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
  • I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
  • I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am haemorrhaging.
  • I will not take whatever I please and hide it under the bed so my people can have a scavenger hunt looking for it.
  • When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
  • The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
  • My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
  • I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
  • I will not stand around Mom when she is cooking or when she is carrying her coffee, so she won't trip over me.
  • I will not beg for food at the supper table, and especially not eat someone's food if they leave it for just a moment.
  • I will not tear up the patio furniture, or put holes in the screen so I may jump in and lounge, just because I don't want to stay outside for more than 2 minutes.
  • I will not chase the cat, and knock over breakable things in the process.
  • We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Goober Horseback Riding

    A goober decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior…
  • Default Image

    G.I. Excuses

    The General went out to find that none of his GIs were there. One finally ran up, panting…
  • Default Image

    Before and After Children

    *Before and After Children*BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the opportunity to…
  • Default Image

    Signal Shot

    The new ensign was standing his first night watch on the bridge of a destroyer. Far out…
  • Default Image

    Couple Descriptions

    Even mismatched couples may described kindly.1. He's a chiropractor, and she is a pain in…
  • Default Image

    Grandpa's Gift

    The following is a true story submitted by list member Mary Lou F. from Kincardine,…
  • Default Image

    How To Photograph A New Puppy

    1. Remove film from box and load camera.2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw…
  • Default Image

    Flossing

    As a dental hygienist, I always encourage patients to floss. During one cleaning, the…
  • Default Image

    Paper Walls

    As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the…
  • Default Image

    Mint Mom

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
  • Default Image

    Newlywed Breakfast

    "If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Tracy the newlywed bride,…
  • Default Image

    Street Name

    "I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the…
  • Default Image

    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
  • Default Image

    Meteor Miss

    As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was…
  • Default Image

    Employee Reviews

    Here's some comments taken from employee reviews."Some drink from the fountain of…