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More Jokes

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    Suspicious Delivery

    There was an unexpected knock on my door, and like I always do I first opened the…
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    Who Am I?

    Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we'd drop them off at our church's…
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    Odd News Reports

    Odd News Reports.....*"The license fee for altered dogs with a certificate will be $3 and…
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    Look Like Mom

    A two-and-a-half-year-old walked into the bathroom while her mother was putting on…
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    Goober Horseback Riding

    A goober decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior…
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    Sweat Dreams

    While on vacation with my son and his family, I shared a room with my 4 year old…
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    Bonus

    Here's hoping there is no one like this at your workplace.Faced with hard times, the…
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    Charity Auction

    The auto auction I attended was selling cars to benefit charity. Vehicles were classified…
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    You Might Be an Engineer If...

    * You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.* You chuckle…
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    Interesting thoughts

    It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost…
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    Employee Gift

    A new pastor, eager to make sure the church's employees would like him, called them…
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    Toy Advice

    A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional…
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    Chewed Out Answer

    A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he…
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    Called In Sick

    Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union…
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    Summer Plans

    Summer vacation was almost about to start and the teacher asked little Sammy about a…

Things dogs should try to remember:

  • The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff even though I haven't got a chance to rip the bag to shreds to see what was in it.
  • I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
  • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
  • I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
  • I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
  • I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up or have an accident.
  • I will not throw up in the car.
  • I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
  • I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
  • I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am haemorrhaging.
  • I will not take whatever I please and hide it under the bed so my people can have a scavenger hunt looking for it.
  • When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
  • The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
  • My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
  • I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
  • I will not stand around Mom when she is cooking or when she is carrying her coffee, so she won't trip over me.
  • I will not beg for food at the supper table, and especially not eat someone's food if they leave it for just a moment.
  • I will not tear up the patio furniture, or put holes in the screen so I may jump in and lounge, just because I don't want to stay outside for more than 2 minutes.
  • I will not chase the cat, and knock over breakable things in the process.
  • We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
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