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    Vat A Country!

    Many years ago, my father was visiting America, from Europe, for the very first time. He…
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    Children Under Ten

    Mark Twain's contention was that the most interesting information comes from children,…
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    Y Zero K bug

    Message from: Rome January 18, 1 BC Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K…
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    Wilderness Trip

    The first carload of Boy Scouts had left my house minutes earlier, bound for our…
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    What The Teacher Says and What She Really Means

    1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his…
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    Penny Problems

    After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard…
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    Traffic Laughs

    * Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing your place…
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    Things That Make You Go "Ummmmmmm????"

    If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Instead of talking to your…
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    Goober Ring

    Passing an office building late one night, a Goober saw a sign that said, "Press bell for…
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    Vacation Report

    Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She…
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    More Cute Kids

    On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small…
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    City Kids Camping

    Two boys from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce the boys had…
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    Kid Comments

    * A kindergarten teacher asked, "What is the shape of the earth ?"One lil' girl spoke up:…
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    Stolen Turkey

    Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I…
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    Cow-isms

    *Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms.* Socialism: You have…

childrens-hands*Things I've Learned From My Children*

01. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.

02. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

03. A 3-year-olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

04. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

05. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

06. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

07. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.

08. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

09. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will however make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a six-year-old is wonderful.

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