logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • classroom

    Divy It Up

    Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her…
  • Default Image

    The Perfect Worker

    From a reference letter . . . 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found2…
  • picture of seeing eye dog

    Can You See Me?

    I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually-impaired adults. Many…
  • Default Image

    Window Savings

    A window salesman phoned a customer. "Hello, Mr. Brown," said the sales rep. "I'm calling…
  • Default Image

    Searching For Witnesses

    The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a…
  • Default Image

    Foot Snuggle

    On a chilly winter evening, my husband and I were snuggled together on the floor watching…
  • pop can

    Pop Please

    While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy. She…
  • Default Image

    Modern Potty Training

    Little brother: What do I do now?Big brother: Throw the toilet paper in the toilet.Little…
  • Default Image

    Amish At The Mall

    An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall for the first time. They were amazed by…
  • Default Image

    Another Virus Warning

    ***-- VIRUS WARNING --***Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this one is…
  • Default Image

    Boss and E-Mail

    I used to work for a multimillion dollar consulting firm doing desktop support. The…
  • Default Image

    Little Tim's Goldfish

    Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.…
  • Default Image

    Typing Test

    A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have…
  • Default Image

    Ice Capades

    A mother's four-year-old daughter was attending her first performance of the Ice Capades.…
  • Default Image

    Parenthood

    If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!…

Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding):

* There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.

* If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

* A 4 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

* If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.

* It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

* Baseballs make marks on ceilings.

* You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

* When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

* A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

* The glass in windows (even double paned) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

* When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too late.

* Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

* A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

* A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

* If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak, it explodes.

* A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.

* Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.

* Duplos will not.

* Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

* Super glue is forever.

* McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.

* Ditto Tarzan.

* No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

* Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

* VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

* Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

* Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

* You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

* Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

* Plastic toys do not like ovens.

* The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time.

* The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.

* It will however make cats dizzy.

* Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

* A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).

Powered By JFBConnect