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More Jokes

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    The Buck Stops Where?

    A one-dollar bill met a twenty-dollar bill and said, "Hey, where have you been? I haven't…
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    Biggest Lie

    Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you…
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    Rejected Invitation

    Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her…
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    How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

    *How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?* Golden Retriever: The sun is…
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    Quick Thinking Dog

    A wealthy man decides to take a hunting safari in Africa, and takes his faithful dog with…
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    Rainy Weather Humor

    Nothing personal against Seattlites - change it to any other place getting a lot of rain.…
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    The Hokey Pokey

    *The Hokey Pokey*Original LyricsPut your left foot in,Your left foot out,Your left foot…
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    Afraid of The Dark

    A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back…
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    Army Drab

    My husband wore his Army uniform with pride. One day, coming home from the base and…
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    W-a-i-t-i-n-g

    The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was…
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    Kitchen Help

    The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and…
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    "R" Troubles

    A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ''R,'' and all the other…
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    Australian Football

    I'd heard that Australian football is a lot rougher than the American version, but never…
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    Picture Menu

    I stopped at the local Burger King for a cold drink and was reading the menu over the…
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    Nail Biting

    Most of us have a bad habit we are constantly trying to break. For me, it’s biting my…

My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you... Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

My mother taught me ABOUT SEX...
"How do you think you got here?"

My mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You are just like your father!"

My mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING...
You are going to get it when we get home.

and my all time favorite thing - JUSTICE
"one day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU..then you'll see what it's like."

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