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More Jokes

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    Fixed Sign

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Boy Scout Tips

    A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert. "What are the…
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    Cherokee Language

    A Cherokee Indian was a special guest at an elementary school. He talked to the children…
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    License Picture

    A traffic cop stopped a woman for a minor traffic violation. After examining her driver's…
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    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer

    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer: - You've backed-up your desktop by…
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    Growing Up

    While on recess duty at the elementary school where I teach, I was talking with several…
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    Dynamite Bumps

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Message Puzzle

    April was puzzled recently by the odd messages she kept getting on her voice mail. Day…
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    New Boots

    My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The…
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    Card Reader

    "Can people predict the future with cards?" Jessica asked Danny."My mother can," Danny…
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    Charity Answer

    Father O'Shea, the parish priest in the village, was giving a sermon about charity. He…
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    Tech Support

    Five things you don't want to hear from Tech Support: 1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!" 2. "In…
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    Landing Request

    There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his…
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    Where's The Beef

    The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of…
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    Three Day Silence

    My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what…

My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you... Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

My mother taught me ABOUT SEX...
"How do you think you got here?"

My mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You are just like your father!"

My mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING...
You are going to get it when we get home.

and my all time favorite thing - JUSTICE
"one day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU..then you'll see what it's like."

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