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  • parrot

    Do Not Talk To My Parrot

    Mrs. Lonefold's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. He couldn't…
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    Day of Thanksgiving

    And after all is said and done.....the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the…
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    Epitaph Adjustment

    A new widow requested the epitaph "Rest in Peace" for her husband's tombstone. When she…
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    Best Guide

    I understand the fix a local hunting guide got himself into.His party became hopelessly…
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    Casual Day

    I used to work for a large company, they often did special things for us to make work a…
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    Thunderstorm Plea

    An airliner flew into a violent thunderstorm and was soon swaying and bumping around the…
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    Gorilla Sundae

    A gorilla walked into a drugstore and ordered a $1.50 chocolate sundae. He put a…
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    Exam Help

    The final exam in electrical engineering worried my son, Don. On the last day of class,…
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    Boy Scout Tips

    A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert. "What are the…
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    Found Cell Phone

    When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers,…
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    Mom's Clarinet

    My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was…
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    Thanks

    A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an…
  • pill bottle

    Prescription

    A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor…
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    New Russian

    I just returned from a mission trip in Belarus, where we were building churches. My…
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    Name Confusion

    Working at an airline ticket counter, I pulled up a passenger's reservation that showed…

frog loveThings Not To Say To On Date

* I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

* I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.

* I used to come here all the time with my ex.

* I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.

* Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

* I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.

* And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity leg hair contest.

* I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.

* It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.

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