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More Jokes

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    Live to 100

    When a grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel. As part of…
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    Impressions

    A man commissioned Picasso to paint a portrait of his wife. Startled by the…
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    Someone Is Knocking

    A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All…
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    Go Easy at First

    Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight…
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    Dental Mommy

    For the first time, my four-year-old daughter Kelsey was coming to my office to have me,…
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    Dad and Surgeon

    This older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,…
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    Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)

    1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down…
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    Doctor News

    A doctor walked into his office where one of his patients was sitting. The doctor told…
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    Thanks

    A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an…
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    Circles

    During basic army training, a sergeant was telling his group how a submachine gun sprayed…
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    Kitten Saga

    The pastor of a local church had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and was…
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    Baggage Problem

    The flight attendant watched a passenger try to stuff his hopelessly overloaded bags into…
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    All Roads Lead Back to Rome

    The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.…
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    No Hero of Mine

    "King David used to be a hero of mine, but not anymore," little Brodie told his mother…
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    Worker Ants

    The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker…

frog loveThings Not To Say To On Date

* I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

* I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.

* I used to come here all the time with my ex.

* I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.

* Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

* I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.

* And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity leg hair contest.

* I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.

* It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.

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