More Jokes

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    Misbehaving Phone Call

    Seven year old Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.Two days…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 3

    11. Subject: Children's Logic: Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a…
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    Kind Word

    A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his…
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    Cake Disaster

    Many years ago my just married young cousin moved into an upstairs apartment and invited…
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    Movie Impatience

    We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it…
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    --- WARNING, DANGER! ---

    --- WARNING, DANGER! --- I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering…
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    Strange Lawsuits

    An inmate filed a $5 million lawsuit against himself (he claimed that he violated his own…
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    Military Computer Manners

    The Pentagon recently unveiled its new super computer to the top brass. This fantastic…
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    Seat Sacrifice

    On the way back to New York as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that…
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    Foreign Phrases - Sort of

    A New York magazine recently ran a contest. The rules were to take any well-known phrase…
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    Heat Wave Humor

    Nothing personal against Texans - change it to any place that is hot. "It's So Hot In…
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    Pop Rocks

    Cassie was taking two of her Grandsons on their very first train ride from Dayton, Ohio…
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    Pregnant Stamp

    A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the birth of their first…
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    Flashlight Defense

    A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. "Is it true," he asked, "that an…
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    Makeup Routine

    Every morning, a little girl would go in the bathroom to watch Mommy as she was putting…

frog loveThings Not To Say To On Date

* I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

* I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.

* I used to come here all the time with my ex.

* I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.

* Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

* I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.

* And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity leg hair contest.

* I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.

* It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.

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