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More Jokes

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    Hiring Slogans

    Beware of Companies With These Hiring Slogans:"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no…
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    Letter From A Farm Kid

    Letter from a farm kid, now at Paris Island Marine Corps recruit depot:Dear Ma and Pa:I…
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    You Know It's Hot Outside When…

    You Know It's Hot Outside When...**you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the…
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    How to Make Life Simpler

    Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and…
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    Wacky Definitions

    Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law!Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal…
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    Goober Motivation

    One day a goober was hiking up to an old camp. There was an outhouse along the way, so he…
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    Materialistic Or What?

    A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jag XK-8 in front of the office, ready to…
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    Tap Away

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
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    Stockbroker's Secretary

    The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning."I'm sorry," she said, "Mr.…
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    Foreign Encounter

    I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must…
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    Mrs. Pierpoint

    A woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the apartment next door.…
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    Kettle Rescue

    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what…
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    Control and Escape

    The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that…
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    Party Favor

    After classical violinist Fritz Kreisler was invited to a society party, the hostess…
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    Dog Applicant

    A sign was hung in an office window. It read: Help wanted. Must type 70 words a minute.…

frog loveThings Not To Say To On Date

* I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

* I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.

* I used to come here all the time with my ex.

* I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.

* Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

* I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.

* And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity leg hair contest.

* I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.

* It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.

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