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More Jokes

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    Pay Mistakes

    One day, an employee received an unusually large check. She decided not to say anything…
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    Pink Humvees

    Our division had to repaint our Humvees to a sand color for Desert Storm. The result was…
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    Haiku Error Messages

    Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new…
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    Snake Glasses

    An old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very…
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    Prison Joke Book

    It was Mickey's first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were in their cells…
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    Chose Your Weapon

    Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn…
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    How Business Communications Work

    How Business Communications WorkMEMORANDUMFrom: Headquarters - New YorkTo: General…
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    Research Team

    A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the…
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    A Few Fishing Definitions

    HOOK - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement used to…
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    Country Tunes

    My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style…
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    Lion Tamer

    A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer.…
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    Genetically Modified Food

    Signs that scientists have gone too far with genetically modified food: *Your hot dog…
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    Returned E-mail

    The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for…
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    Losing Load

    A trucker stops for red light and a goober girl catches up. She knocks on the door and…
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    2 Words

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…

frog loveThings Not To Say To On Date

* I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

* I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.

* I used to come here all the time with my ex.

* I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.

* Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

* I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.

* And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity leg hair contest.

* I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.

* It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.

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