More Jokes

  • Picture of Newspaper

    Good News

    *Good News* The parachute company says you'll get a full refund. They say the house…
  • Default Image


    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Default Image

    Dog Stop

    Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a…
  • Default Image

    Unique Breakfast

    A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read Unique Breakfast, so he…
  • Default Image

    Gender Smarts

    Diamonds are a girl's best friend.Dogs are a man's best friend.Now you know which gender…
  • Default Image

    Out of Gas Advice

    After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it…
  • Default Image

    Fortunate Aged People

    Old folks are worth a fortune: With silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in…
  • Default Image

    Doctor in the House

    A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in…
  • Default Image

    No Gun Hunting

    There's this guy who shows up at a cabin where these hunters have gathered to hunt bear.…
  • Default Image

    Reunion Pride

    My wife and I were at my high school reunion.As I looked around, I noticed the other men…
  • Default Image

    Corn Problem

    We were eating corn on the cob two weeks ago and my 5-year-old daughter Rachel seemed to…
  • Default Image

    New Car Warning

    A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his…
  • Default Image

    Doody Solution

    A little three-year-old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in…
  • Default Image


    After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a…
  • Default Image

    Five Steps to a Healthy Diet

    Five Steps to a Healthy DietThe Federal Drug and Food Administration is planning to issue…

Don't say it.Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful situations in an on-going relationship? The other two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and wallpapering.

We rush to print with an emergency prompt list of Things Not To Say When Hanging Lights on the Christmas Tree.

--"You've got two red lights right next to each other, Honey. You're supposed to go yellow, red, green, blue, not yellow, red, red, green, blue..."

--"Up a little higher. You can reach it. Go on, try."

--"What on earth do you do to these lights when you put them away every year? Tie them in knots?"

--"Come away from that aluminum ladder, kids. I'm going to fry that sucker."

--"If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all. Don't just throw them on, like you do the icicles. You're worse than your father."

--"Give me that."

--"You've got the whole thing on the tree upside-down. The electric pluggie thing should be down here at the bottom, not up at the top."

--"I don't care if you have found another two strings, I'm done!."

--"You've just wound 'em around and around - I thought we agreed it shouldn't look like a spiral this year?"

--"Have you been drinking?"

--"Where's the cat?"

Powered By JFBConnect