logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Two-Part Question

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $50,000 Question. The night before the…
  • Default Image

    Vow of Silence

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…
  • Default Image

    Art Interpretation

    Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings.One is a…
  • stork

    How Was I Born?

    A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?" "Well,…
  • Default Image

    Engineering Dictionary

    *Engineering Dictionary*What the Engineer says (What it really means)A number of…
  • Default Image

    Low Watt Stories

    True Stories, by David Smith I went to McDonald's. I looked at the menu and saw that you…
  • picture of for rent sign

    Excerpts From Actual Letters Sent To Landlords

    1. "The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared." 2. "This…
  • accent boy

    Accents

    About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old…
  • Default Image

    Top Nine Stupid Questions Received by the Chap Stick Hotline

    Top Nine Stupid Questions Received by the Chap Stick Hotline9. "Hi, is this the chopstick…
  • Default Image

    Reindeer Gender

    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer…
  • Default Image

    Pulpit Humor

    There was this Lutheran minister who served a predominately German congregation for…
  • Default Image

    Mother's Intuition

    I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a…
  • Default Image

    Diary of A House Husband

    "Diary of A House Husband" This week I am at home & playing house husband. My wife left a…
  • Default Image

    The Truth About Tools

    The Truth about Tools HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays…
  • Default Image

    Good Old Days

    Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in…

Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful situations in an on-going relationship? The other two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and wallpapering.

We rush to print with an emergency prompt list of Things Not To Say When Hanging Lights on the Christmas Tree.

--"You've got two red lights right next to each other, goober. You're supposed to go yellow, green, red, blue, not yellow, red, red, green, blue..."

--"Up a little higher. You can reach it. Go on, try."

--"What on earth do you do to these lights when you put them away every year? Tie them in knots?"

--"Come away from that aluminum ladder, kids. I'm going to fry that sucker."

--"If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all. Don't just throw them on, like you do the icicles. You're worse than your father."

--"Give me that."

--"You've got the whole thing on the tree upside-down. The electric pluggee thing should be down here at the bottom, not up at the top."

--"I don't care if you have found another two strings, I'm done!."

--"You've just wound 'em around and around - I thought we agreed it shouldn't look like a spiral this year?"

--"Have you been drinking?"

--"Where's the cat?"

Powered By JFBConnect