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  • trail

    Goober Hunters

    Two Goober hunters were dragging their dead deer down a trail back to their car. Another…
  • family1

    Dressing The Kids

    The mother of a large family was explaining why she dresses her children alike, right…
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    The Tie

    A man goes into a restaurant and the waitress stops him."Sorry sir, you need to wear a…
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    No. 5 Bus

    A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The…
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    Prayers as Heard By Children

    Prayers as Heard By ChildrenFrom San Francisco: When I was a child, I learned this prayer…
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    Getting Younger

    Old Sam Johnson goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body.…
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    She Was Such A Goober

    She was such a goober. . ... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.. she tripped over a…
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    Project Picture

    My 12 year old daughter asked me, "Mom, do you have a baby picture of yourself? I need it…
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    Be Careful Following the Crowd

    Another true life story for the Funnies... A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for…
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    Three Chairs

    A Methodist minister meets three Baptist deacons on the golf course and invites them to…
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    Late For Church

    A young girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could to Sunday…
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    Boss and E-Mail

    I used to work for a multimillion dollar consulting firm doing desktop support. The…
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    Politically Correct Statements for a New Century

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
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    Mother Ring

    While picking up a prescription, I noticed that the woman who gave me my medication was…
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    Grocery Pickup

    Soon after my 16-year-old sister started working after school as a grocery-store cashier,…
1.) Better save that.? We'll need it for the autopsy.
2.) Somebody call the janitor - we're going to need a mop
3.) 'Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness'
4.) Sparky!? Comeback with that!? Bad Dog!
5.) Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
6.) Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
7.) Oh no!? I just lost my Rolex.
8.) Oops!? Hey, has anyone ever survived a full hypo of this tuffbefore?
9.) Everybody stand back!? I lost my contact lens!
10.) Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off
11.) What's this doing here?
12.) I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
13.) That's cool!? now can you make his leg twitch?!
14.) I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
15.) Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
16.) Sterile, shcmeril.? The floor's clean, right?
17.) Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
18.) Next, we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.
19.) Now take a picture from this angle.? This is truly a freak of nature.
20.) This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
21.) Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
22.) Don't worry.? I think it is sharp enough.
23.) What do you mean 'You want a divorce'!
24.) She's gonna blow!? Everyone take cover!!!
25.) FIRE!? FIRE!? Everybody get out!
26.) 'And next week, we'll be learning how to stitch up a patient...'
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