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    Truth About Children

    Truth About Children: - A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning. - A…
  • snails

    Turtle Accident

    Two snails were standing on the side of the road, a turtle stopped and said, "Do you guys…
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    One-liners

    1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.2. Make yourself at home! Clean my…
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    Dalmation Role

    A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a…
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    Roughhousing

    A little boy was roughhousing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Peter, I know…
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    Dead Horse

    The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says…
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    Military Inspection

    The colonel who served as inspector general in our command paid particular attention to…
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    Last One

    A New Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time. She dressed her…
  • birthday

    Sweater Gifts

    Although we had recently moved into a new neighborhood, our young son had already made…
  • preacher1

    Board Meeting

    After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church…
  • chocolate1

    Chocolate Calories

    A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy 2 servings per night, and a…
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    Walking on Water

    Bob, the goober, heard a rumor that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all…
  • chickens

    Prepared Chicken

    "May I take your order?" the waiter asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"…
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    Amateur Photographer

    An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends, and he took along a few…
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    Meeting Invitation

    I was telling a friend about my enrollment in a weight-loss program and how excited I was…
1.) Better save that.? We'll need it for the autopsy.
2.) Somebody call the janitor - we're going to need a mop
3.) 'Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness'
4.) Sparky!? Comeback with that!? Bad Dog!
5.) Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
6.) Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
7.) Oh no!? I just lost my Rolex.
8.) Oops!? Hey, has anyone ever survived a full hypo of this tuffbefore?
9.) Everybody stand back!? I lost my contact lens!
10.) Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off
11.) What's this doing here?
12.) I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
13.) That's cool!? now can you make his leg twitch?!
14.) I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
15.) Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
16.) Sterile, shcmeril.? The floor's clean, right?
17.) Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
18.) Next, we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.
19.) Now take a picture from this angle.? This is truly a freak of nature.
20.) This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
21.) Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
22.) Don't worry.? I think it is sharp enough.
23.) What do you mean 'You want a divorce'!
24.) She's gonna blow!? Everyone take cover!!!
25.) FIRE!? FIRE!? Everybody get out!
26.) 'And next week, we'll be learning how to stitch up a patient...'
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