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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
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    Conductor Problem

    The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new…
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    Golf desire

    Detailed instructions on managing your subscription are included after the body of this…
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    Cow-isms

    *Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms.* Socialism: You have…
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    Wedding Vows

    A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows…
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    Rest In Peace

    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for…
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    Card Reader Instructions

    Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe…
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    Pop Rocks

    Cassie was taking two of her Grandsons on their very first train ride from Dayton, Ohio…
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    Hans Olaffsen's Laundry

    Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants,…
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    Goober Crossing

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Call To Mom

    A man called his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother.…
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    Sermon Overtime

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
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    Jury Excuse

    "Please, Your Honor, I'd like to be excused from jury duty," pleaded an anxious-looking…
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    Australian Football

    I'd heard that Australian football is a lot rougher than the American version, but never…
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    Tap Away

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
1.) Better save that.? We'll need it for the autopsy.
2.) Somebody call the janitor - we're going to need a mop
3.) 'Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness'
4.) Sparky!? Comeback with that!? Bad Dog!
5.) Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
6.) Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
7.) Oh no!? I just lost my Rolex.
8.) Oops!? Hey, has anyone ever survived a full hypo of this tuffbefore?
9.) Everybody stand back!? I lost my contact lens!
10.) Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off
11.) What's this doing here?
12.) I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
13.) That's cool!? now can you make his leg twitch?!
14.) I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
15.) Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
16.) Sterile, shcmeril.? The floor's clean, right?
17.) Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
18.) Next, we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.
19.) Now take a picture from this angle.? This is truly a freak of nature.
20.) This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
21.) Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
22.) Don't worry.? I think it is sharp enough.
23.) What do you mean 'You want a divorce'!
24.) She's gonna blow!? Everyone take cover!!!
25.) FIRE!? FIRE!? Everybody get out!
26.) 'And next week, we'll be learning how to stitch up a patient...'
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