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    Found Wallet

    While shopping in a supermarket in Washington, D.C., I heard over the PA system:"A wallet…
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    Burns and Benny

    Jack Benny and George Burns became friends when both were young performers working their…
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    Choruses vs Hymns

    young, new Christian went to his local small town church one weekend. He came home and…
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    Rattlesnakes

    Felix, my husband, was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into…
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    Family Feud Answers

    *Here are some actual answers from contestants who have appeared on the game show Family…
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    Tonsils

    A young boy of four was going into hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his…
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    Memo Differences

    Memo from Director General to Manager: Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…
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    Frugal - to save

    Mary's fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her…
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    Frazzled Doctor

    As soon as I stepped into the urgent-care facility in my hometown, I could see the place…
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    Golf Cheater

    Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Joe said to a fellow club member, "I'm…
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    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

    10. "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!" 9. "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!!…
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    Check Signing

    Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and…
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    Mistakes

    If a barber makes a mistake,It's a new style... If a driver makes a mistake,It is an…
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    Wake Up Call

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke…
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    Towel Misunderstanding

    One day a child at my four-year-old's Sunday school class told her classmates that she…
Things you'll never hear a man say:

1) Here honey, you use the remote.
2) Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt?  That's one movie I gotta see!
3) While I'm up, can I get you anything?
4) Aww, forget Monday Night football, let's watch Melrose Place.
5) Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
6) We never talk anymore.

Things you'll never hear a woman say:

1) What do you mean today's our anniversary?
2) Can we not talk to each other tonight?  I'd rather just watch TV.
3) Ohh, this diamond is way to big!
4) Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
5) I don't care if it's on sale, 300 dollars is way to much for a designer dress.
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