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More Jokes

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    Finished Chores

    My parents are both busy professional people and have trouble finding time for chores and…
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    Horse Talk

    "Well, I reckon you've been a pretty good horse," said the farmer. "You work hard and I…
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    Employee Gift

    A new pastor, eager to make sure the church's employees would like him, called them…
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    Cow-isms

    *Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms.* Socialism: You have…
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    Doctor News

    A doctor walked into his office where one of his patients was sitting. The doctor told…
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    Cat Prayer

    Cat PrayerNow I lay me down to sleep,I pray this cushy life to keep.I pray for toys that…
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    Jack's Will

    Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's last will…
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    Weight Training

    My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me,…
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    Washing Settings

    One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he…
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    You Know You're Growing Old When...

    You know you're growing old when... ..you've come to the annoying realization that your…
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    Tattoo Call

    I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay phone. "I know it's something you…
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    Cookie Calories

    A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store to help him buy groceries. In…
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    New Boater

    This past summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of…
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    Bridge Over Troubled Waters

    There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks: Rufus and Clarence.…
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    FROLIC Memo

    To: All Employees From: Management Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season…
Things you'll never hear a man say:

1) Here honey, you use the remote.
2) Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt?  That's one movie I gotta see!
3) While I'm up, can I get you anything?
4) Aww, forget Monday Night football, let's watch Melrose Place.
5) Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
6) We never talk anymore.

Things you'll never hear a woman say:

1) What do you mean today's our anniversary?
2) Can we not talk to each other tonight?  I'd rather just watch TV.
3) Ohh, this diamond is way to big!
4) Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
5) I don't care if it's on sale, 300 dollars is way to much for a designer dress.
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