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More Jokes

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    Class Reunions

    Every ten years, as summertime nears,An announcement arrives in the mail,A reunion is…
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    Teenaged Daughter Owner's Manual

    Instructions for all those with teenage daughters or daughters who think they are…
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    The Points System

    For all of us guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of…
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    Technical Terms for the Strictly Amish

    Log on: making a wood stove hotterLog off: don't add no more woodMonitor: keeping an eye…
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    Newlywed Breakfast

    "If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Tracy the newlywed bride,…
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    Elderly Couple Sharing

    A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that…
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    Ironic Call

    One day an employee came into work with both of his ears bandaged. His boss asked him…
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    New Apartment

    A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants…
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    Payment Plan

    Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store.Pete said…
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    Warning Sign

    Vacationing in Alaska, I couldn't help but notice all the warnings about bears posted in…
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    English Subtitles

    The following are actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong. * I am darn…
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    Grandma's Meat Loaf

    A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make…
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    Rhymes and Tubes

    Our family was leaving on a two week vacation and so my preparations took me into the…
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    Ten Laws of Life

    1. When ones hands are covered in oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch.…
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    Top 10 Holiday Gift Things To Say

    Top 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don't like: 10) Hey! There's a gift. 9.)…
Things you'll never hear a man say:

1) Here honey, you use the remote.
2) Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt?  That's one movie I gotta see!
3) While I'm up, can I get you anything?
4) Aww, forget Monday Night football, let's watch Melrose Place.
5) Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
6) We never talk anymore.

Things you'll never hear a woman say:

1) What do you mean today's our anniversary?
2) Can we not talk to each other tonight?  I'd rather just watch TV.
3) Ohh, this diamond is way to big!
4) Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
5) I don't care if it's on sale, 300 dollars is way to much for a designer dress.
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