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More Jokes

  • plane passenger window

    On Time

    The passengers were leaving the plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied passenger…
  • picture of an open hard drive

    Yesterday Computer Song

    Do you know the song "Yesterday"? Then sing along to this computer version. Yesterday,…
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    Suspicious Delivery

    There was an unexpected knock on my door, and like I always do I first opened the…
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    Haiku Error Messages

    Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new…
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    Bull Healing

    A farmer asked his vet to come out to check on his favorite bull who wasn't doing well at…
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    Three Legged Chicken

    A man was driving along a rural road one day when he saw a three legged chicken. He was…
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    College Laundry

    My son Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He…
  • jogger

    What Time Is It?

    A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He…
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    Things Overheard on Noah's Ark

    10. "Did anyone think about bringing a couple of umbrellas?"9. "Hey, there are more than…
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    Carrier Landings 2

    Flying into a Middle East airport, my co-pilot and I reviewed our flight plan for the…
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    Perfect

    There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a…
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    Dog License

    During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to…
  • new years_eve

    Attainable New Year's Resolutions

    This year, I resolve to... - Gain weight; at least 30 pounds. - Stop exercising; waste of…
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    Gated Community

    Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both…
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    If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals

    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very…
Things you'll never hear a man say:

1) Here honey, you use the remote.
2) Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt?  That's one movie I gotta see!
3) While I'm up, can I get you anything?
4) Aww, forget Monday Night football, let's watch Melrose Place.
5) Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
6) We never talk anymore.

Things you'll never hear a woman say:

1) What do you mean today's our anniversary?
2) Can we not talk to each other tonight?  I'd rather just watch TV.
3) Ohh, this diamond is way to big!
4) Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
5) I don't care if it's on sale, 300 dollars is way to much for a designer dress.
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