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  • parrot

    Auction Parrot

    One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this…
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    Knitting Chinese

    Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Tiger Woods is to golf. She designed exotic…
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    Ignored Phone

    The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it…
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    House Points

    "This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad…
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    Five Kinds of Fruit

    In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of fruits on it. They…
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    Elf Pet Peeves

    *Elf Pet Peeves*7. Toil for 364 days a year just to make children smile and no one gives…
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    Death Statistic

    A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death…
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    Add Some Fun To Life

    Add Some Fun To Life Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'. Page yourself…
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    No Frills Airlines

    ...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances. ...all the insurance machines in the…
  • A woman keeps her promise to send money with her deceased husband.

    Sending it With Him

    There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a…
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    Good Old Days

    Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in…
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    Company Role Models

    My company had a successful year, and at the annual meeting, employees eagerly awaited…
  • studying ahead

    Ode To Finals Week

    Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,The students were praying for…
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    Rental Description

    On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver…
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    Chemistry Stir

    This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to…

movie seats- It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

- No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

- Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If they're villains, they will probably speak with an English accent.

- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

- An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

(You'll find the second part of this list here.)

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