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More Jokes

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    Overdue Rent

    Walpole had lived in his loft for six months, and by now it was filled with the paintings…
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    Guard Dog Sniff

    My boyfriend, Tim, a mechanic, does work for the Air Force Academy. One day, a guard…
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    That's It

    A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece…
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    Baseball Doctor

    As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment…
  • knee bones

    Sore Knee

    Old man Johnson limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doc, my right knee hurts so…
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    Airport Security

    Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to…
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    Goober Golf Dispute

    Two goobers were starting a round of Golf together. On the first tee, the first guy…
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    One Little Square

    A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mum, what`s…
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    Wheat Exports

    Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question:…
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    Art Good News/Bad News

    An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on…
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    "Brake Down"

    My boss' wife Sherry was exasperated with her younger sister, who bought an unreliable…
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    Deer Prayer

    The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season.Or…
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    Called In Sick

    Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union…
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    Lost Friends

    Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to…
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    Bus Fare

    Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the fare to the train…

movie seats- It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

- No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

- Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If they're villains, they will probably speak with an English accent.

- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

- An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

(You'll find the second part of this list here.)

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