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More Jokes

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    Remember The Elderly

    The following is a letter received by a pastor from an 86 year old lady. The lady…
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    What Don't You Have?

    An elderly man went to the doctor for a visit. "Doc," he says," I am so stricken. I have…
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    Rental Description

    On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver…
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    Horse Batter

    On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a race horse with him to add…
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    Politcal Quotes

    "I resent your insinuendoes." "If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain…
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    Gore Flubs

    We've all flubbed things we were trying to say - here are some flubs attributed to Al…
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    Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow

    Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow1. Text on Web pages displays…
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    Some Things You Can't Escape

    A convict managed to escape from prison and his escape was the lead item on the six…
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    Exam By Chance

    A young student reports for a final examination that consists of only true/false type…
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    Senior "Favorite Things"

    There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a concert for AARP (The American…
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    End Nail Biting

    Two elderly women were fussing about their husbands over tea one day. "I do wish my Leroy…
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    Goober Olympic Questions

    Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the…
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    Goodwill Offering

    During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he…
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    Surgical Tools

    To address an emergency call a doctor came to see a rich patient at his home, who was…
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    Published Sermons

    After a particularly inspiring worship service, a church member greeted the pastor.…

movie seats- It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

- No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

- Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If they're villains, they will probably speak with an English accent.

- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

- An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

(You'll find the second part of this list here.)

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