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More Jokes

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    Employee Reviews

    Here's some comments taken from employee reviews."Some drink from the fountain of…
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    Plane Pontoons

    Tiring of the inconvenience of the drive from airport to country cottage, a man equipped…
  • abc blocks

    The ABC Song

    Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?” Me: “Sure.” (He holds up a piece of…
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    Totally Out of Shape

    I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to…
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    Cookie Calories

    A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store to help him buy groceries. In…
  • Race horses talking in the stable

    Race Horses in a Stable

    Some race horses are staying in a stable when one of them starts to boast about his track…
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    Spelling Help

    My son, Mitchell, a kindergartener, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the…
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    Company Role Models

    My company had a successful year, and at the annual meeting, employees eagerly awaited…
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    Banking Hiccup

    While waiting in line at the bank, a coworker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    Goober Guess

    This goober named Jed was walking down the road one day when he came across his friend,…
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    Wild Game

    I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a…
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    Self-Evident Truths About Pets

    *Self-Evident Truths About Pets** Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they…
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    Out of the Loop

    Mr. Norton was in the hospital recovering from an operation when the nurse on duty…
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    Kitten Revival

    A mother looked out a window and saw Johnny playing church with their three kittens. He…
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    Minibike

    A young man drove his mini-bike in to a gas station and dismounted."I'll need about a…

movie seats- It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

- No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

- Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If they're villains, they will probably speak with an English accent.

- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

- An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

(You'll find the second part of this list here.)

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