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More Jokes

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    New Duct Tape

    I was with my eldest son one day, driving around town in my old Toyota pickup, when…
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    Arm Injury

    The brilliant lawyer F. E. Smith once defended a bus driver against claims that his…
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    Murphy's Laws on Computers

    *Murphy's Laws on Computers*- As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.-…
  • drum

    Silent Drums

    An anthropologist was assigned to Borneo, where he found a guide with a canoe to take him…
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    $0.00

    In March 1992 a man living in Newtown near Boston Massachusetts received a bill for his…
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    All Saved Up

    After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've…
  • coffee cup

    Coffee Delay

    In a rush to work one morning, I pulled up to the drive-through window at a fast-food…
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    Family Album

    I come from a large family, five sisters and three brothers.My sisters and I were looking…
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    Forbidden Words

    An English professor announced to the class, "There are two words I don't allow in my…
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    D.C. Flyover

    On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father…
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    Didn't See That Coming

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her…
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    Tag Fad

    My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his…
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    Horse Batter

    On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a race horse with him to add…
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    Goober Job Interview

    An goober goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics.…
  • pictures of solar eclipse

    Eclipse Memos

    Memo from Director General to Manager: Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…

movie seats- It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

- No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

- Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If they're villains, they will probably speak with an English accent.

- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

- An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

(You'll find the second part of this list here.)

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