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More Jokes

  • picture of a cell phone

    Translation Please

    A French guest, staying in a American hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black…
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    Shower Music

    "Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the…
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    Golfing Seniors

    "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty…
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    Sponge Mistake

    In the doctors office two patients are talking."You know, I had an appendectomy last…
  • couple elderly

    I'm Dead

    A husband and wife, both getting on in years, are in bed one morning. He takes her hand,…
  • car old

    Car Ads

    If the car ad claims these items, it really means: - rough condition = too bad to lie…
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    Deli Tax Return

    The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had…
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    Goober Nails

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Computer One-liners - Part 3

    Computer One-liners - Part 3Programming Department: Mistakes made while you…
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    The Perfect Church Design

    A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three month…
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    Longevity

    A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the…
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    Fee Surprise

    Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once…
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    Zoo Thank You

    As a volunteer who conducts educational tours of the Zoo, Sally occasionally receives…
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    Fishing Advice

    Two buddies are fishing, but they haven't caught anything all day. Then, another…
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    The Night Shift

    A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There had been a lot of thefts by the…
A man in a supermarket was pushing a cart which contained, among other things, a screaming baby.

As the man proceeded along the aisles, he kept repeating softly, "Keep calm, Thomas. Don't get excited, Thomas. Don't yell, Thomas."

A lady watched with admiration and then said, "You are certainly to be commended for your patience in trying to quiet little Thomas."

"Lady," he declared, "I'M THOMAS!"
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