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    Potato Problem

    Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his…
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    Absent Minded Professor

    One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded…
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    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…
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    Headstones

    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to…
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    Career Change

    When Ruthie's grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor…
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    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
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    Golf Comeback

    (This joke is based on an actual event which is a part of golf lore around the world). A…
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    Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers

    (From the Archives back in 1999)1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other…
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    PTA Speakers

    As a traffic safety consultant, I often gave talks to organizations on accident…
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    Anthill Golf

    Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill.Rather than move the ball, he…
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    Why Parents Go Gray

    The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem…
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    Be Careful Following the Crowd

    Another true life story for the Funnies... A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for…
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    Mouse Repellant

    A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild winter, they had a bit of a…
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    Oriskany Falls

    The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so…
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    Special Message

    "Skipper," the sailor said to his captain as he saluted, "A special message just came in…
~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.

~ I trace my family history so I will know who to blame.

~ Can a first cousin, once removed, return?

~ Searching for lost relatives?  Win the lottery!

~ Do I even WANT ancestors?

~ Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.

~ Every family tree has some sap in it.

~ Friends come and go, but relatives tend to accumulate.

~ Genealogists never die, they just lose their roots.

~ Genealogy: A haystack full of needles. It's the threads I need.

~ Heredity:  Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools.

~ I think my family tree is a few branches short of full bloom.

~ Theory of relativity: If you go back far enough, we're all related
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