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    Unwritten Warning Labels

    *Unwritten Warning Labels*On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive…
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    Actual Hiker Comments

    These are actual comments left last year on Forest Service registration sheets and…
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    Obituary Notice

    A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently…
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    Exercise Program

    Here is an exercise program for those of us whose wisdom exceeds our ambition. The doctor…
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    Better Trainer

    A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of…
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    Withheld Pay

    After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, my Uncle Joe was hired by a…
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    Cough Remedy

    The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against the wall. The…
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    Sick Day

    Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied male obesity to a…
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    Car Alarms

    I was with a friend in a cafe' when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation. "What…
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    Picnic Passions

    A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old…
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    Zoo Trip

    Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his…
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    Really Impressed

    As a psychologist, my first job was working in a small clinic. One of my patients was a…
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    Fly Catch

    My wife had never been to a baseball game, so I took her to see the Los Angeles Dodgers…
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    Excuse Me Driver

    A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the…
  • picture of weights

    Weight For Help

    Somewhat skeptical of his son's new found determination to become Charles Atlas, the…

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs.

She nudged me and whispered, "Wake up, wake up!"

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're eating the tuna casserole I made tonight."

"That'll teach them!" I replied.

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