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    Knowing the Numbers

    The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers."Yes," he said. "I do.…
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    Approval Letter

    After trying a new shampoo for the first time, Dewey mailed off an enthusiastic letter of…
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    Planning Ahead

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond…
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    Dream Woman

    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of…
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    Homework Help

    "Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my…
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    Strangest Dream

    "I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist."I saw my…
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    For Charlotte

    A DJ was introducing a record. "This next one," he said, "is for Charlotte Burke, who is…
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    School Recommendation

    When I went with my daughter to visit a prestigious university, our student guide pointed…
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    Battle Hymn of Term Finals

    Mine eyes have seen the horrorOf the ending of the termIt has poisoned all my spiritsLike…
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    No Frills Airlines

    ...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances. ...all the insurance machines in the…
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    CIA Note

    A college graduate applied for a job at the Central Intelligence Agency. Together with…
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    Hot Fishing Spot

    Two goobers go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. 1st goober: I…
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    Laws of Computing

    *Laws of Computing* * When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to…
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    I Didn't Feel Quite Right

    Thought I'd let my doctor check me,'Cause I didn't feel quite right. . .All those aches…
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    Phrases for When you Receive Unwanted Gifts

    Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not…

A man finds his seat in the theater, but it's too far from the stage. 

He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery and I have to watch a mystery close up.  Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip."

The usher moves him to the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. 

The usher looks at the quarter and then leans over and whispers, "The wife did it."

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