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More Jokes

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    Thai This For a Change

    An elderly couple, Marty and Helen, along with some friends agreed to try a Thai…
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    Grandma Thanks

    A grandmother was headed out the door to go to church one Sunday when she got a call from…
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    Australian Football

    I'd heard that Australian football is a lot rougher than the American version, but never…
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    Coast Guard Lingo

    When my husband joined the Coast Guard, I knew there would be some adjustments. Not only…
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    Landing in the Fog

    An airliner is coming into land at an airport obscured by fog. Visibility is practically…
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    The Good Night Kiss

    At the end of their first date, a young man takes the girl back to her home. Emboldened…
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    No ID

    A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal…
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    Call To Mom

    A man called his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother.…
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    Signs of A Bad Baptismal Service

    *Top Ten Signs You are At a Bad Baptismal Service* 10. The Coast Guard is involved. 9.…
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    Cherokee Language

    A Cherokee Indian was a special guest at an elementary school. He talked to the children…
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    Reasons Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

    * They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of…
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    Choking Fee

    When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that…
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    Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies

    - It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. - A…
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    TV News

    A chicken crosses the road. Here's how some of the media covers it.Here's our trusty NBC…

~ Never squat with your spurs on!

~ Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.

~ There's two theories to arguin' with a woman....
Neither one works.

~ Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew.
Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger than you think.

~ If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

~ After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.  He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.  The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

~ If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

~ Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

~ It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

~ Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

~ Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

~ Always drink upstream from the herd.

~ Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

~ If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

~ When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

~ When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

~ Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.

~ Always take a good look at what you're about to eat.
It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

~ The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

~ Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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