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    Passing Pain

    An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good…
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    Changing Plates

    My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas…
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    Think She'll Die?

    One afternoon while I was visiting my library, I noticed a group of preschoolers gathered…
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    Broken Scale

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Future Son In Law?

    Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
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    Awake Tip

    Tech support people like me spend our days on the phone with customers. Many like to chat…
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    Are You My Waiter?

    Max Greenberg was at his favorite eatery, the Second Avenue Deli, when he called over the…
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    One Per Point

    One day a professor was giving a big test to his students. He handed out all of the tests…
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    Canadian University Light-Bulb Jokes

    Enough here for many to laugh at themselves. CANADIAN UNIVERSITY LIGHT-BULB JOKES How…
  • A picture of the Grand Canyon

    Questions Asked at National Parks

    *Questions Asked at National Parks* *Everglades National Park:*Are the alligators…
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    Getting Younger

    Old Sam Johnson goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body.…
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    The Student Mind During Final Exams

    Contents of The Student Mind During Final Exams 10% The prof. never covered this section!…
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    Vacation Offer

    A newspaper writer, after working for 17 long years, was finally granted two months…
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    The Difference Between Men and Women

    This is a Dave Barry item. Do not use in your book.********** Let's say a guy named Fred…
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    Lost Over Washington State

    A helicopter was flying around above Washington State yesterday when an electrical…

~ Never squat with your spurs on!

~ Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.

~ There's two theories to arguin' with a woman....
Neither one works.

~ Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew.
Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger than you think.

~ If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

~ After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.  He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.  The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

~ If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

~ Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

~ It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

~ Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

~ Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

~ Always drink upstream from the herd.

~ Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

~ If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

~ When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

~ When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

~ Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.

~ Always take a good look at what you're about to eat.
It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

~ The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

~ Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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