~ Never squat with your spurs on!
~ Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.
~ There's two theories to arguin' with a woman....
Neither one works.
~ Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew.
Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger than you think.
~ If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
~ After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
~ If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
~ Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
~ It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
~ Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
~ Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
~ Always drink upstream from the herd.
~ Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
~ If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
~ When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
~ When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
~ Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
~ Always take a good look at what you're about to eat.
It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.
~ The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
~ Never miss a good chance to shut up.