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More Jokes

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    Walking on Water

    Bob, the goober, heard a rumor that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all…
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    Reasons You Should Buy a New Car

    Reasons You Should Buy a New Car:- Your passenger seat is on the National Register of…
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    Maritime Museum

    Some midshipmen were tasked at the maritime museum to do the "dirty work" of restoring a…
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    Good Old Days

    Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in…
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    Carrier Landings

    Any naval aviator will tell you that landing a plane on an aircraft carrier is THE most…
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    Sunday Lollipop

    The boy came skipping into the house with a big lollipop in his hands. "Where did you get…
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    Reading Problem

    A patient came to me to discuss her nine year old son who was having difficulty reading.…
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    Rabbi Sneak

    There was this rabbi in a small town, and he was really curious about why so many people…
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    Athletics Anonymous

    These days, with all the emphasis on one's physical fitness, a new organization has…
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    Banking Hiccup

    While waiting in line at the bank, a coworker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    Bob's MG

    I was driving the other day and came up on a VW Beetle with a license plate reading 'BOBS…
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    Last Minute Turkey

    It's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on…
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    Mom's Clarinet

    My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was…
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    Enlisting Choices

    "Daddy," said my 11-year-old daughter, "I think I want to join the Army.""Baby," I…
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    I Always Wondered About That

    During a summer break from my studies at an engineering university, I worked in a scrap…

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books.  Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

No time for a bath?  Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them.  The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet.  (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected.)

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