More Jokes

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    Lost In Canada

    An American and his wife were driving in Canada and got lost on the prairie. After what…
  • Picture of a teacher

    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
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    Absent Minded Professor

    One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded…
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    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to…
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    Goober Job Interview

    An goober goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics.…
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    Double Talking Dentist

    "Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient."Good…
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    Four Little Words

    Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch.…
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    Philosophy Chair

    An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing…
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    Hurry and Sign Up

    Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army…
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    Prenatal Visit

    A couple was making their first visit to Dr. Mike Wilson prior to the birth of their…
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    Eye Exam

    Eye-examination charts vary according to the manufacturer, but one thing they have in…
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    More Sayings

    Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. Life is an…
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    In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the…
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    Changing Plates

    My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas…
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    Will To Remember

    A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To…

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books.  Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

No time for a bath?  Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them.  The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet.  (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected.)

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