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    Away Messages

    When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:1. Thank you for your…
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    More Bulletin Bloopers

    *More Bulletin Bloopers*The youth group has raised almost $500 for drug…
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    Number Eighteen

    A first-time prisoner is placed in his cell with a cellmate. Before long it is time for…
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    Scientist's Convention

    In the far distant future in the year 4527, a number of scientists from all over the…
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    10 Common Canine Complaints

    1. Building mounted fire hose connections are no substitute for a real hydrant. 2. "Why…
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    Puppy Power

    Officer Roland, near the end of his shift, noticed a woman driving a small pickup truck…
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    Favorite Animal

    Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said…
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    Card Dog

    A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog…
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    Things Not To Say To On Date

    Things Not To Say To On Date * I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I…
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    Ol' Spot

    A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As…
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    Parrot Auction

    One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this…
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    Money Date

    Part way through his dinner date, my brother deduced the woman he was with was more…
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    Mint Mom

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
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    Faithful Service Gift

    I recall a story my father used to tell about a pastor who had been at a church for 20…
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    One Hard Question

    There was a student who wanted to be admitted to the University.He was smart enough to…
1.  Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some don't have film.
2.  He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3.  A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4.  On the other hand, you have different fingers.
5.  Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6.  Back up my hard drive?  How do I put it in reverse?
7.  I just got lost in thought.  It was unfamiliar territory.
8.  When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
9.  Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
10.  Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
11.  I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
12.  He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
13.  She's always late.  Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
14.  You have the right to remain silent.  Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
15.  I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?
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