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  • letter-writing

    Rejected Rejection

    Re: Rejected Rejection Dear Ms. Ezell: Thank you for your letter of July 17. After…
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    Forgotten Watch

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    Glass Honesty

    As the three ladies picked up a menu, each put on a pair of glasses."I really only need…
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    Kids Say the Darndest Things

    Kids say the darnedest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because…
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    Super Dress

    Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife…
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    Vacuum Repair

    My sister has the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle any home-repair…
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    Change Help

    A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tire alongside the highway, and…
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    In-Flight Humor

    Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture,"…
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    Measuring Hunger

    The parents in our cycling group were discussing the subject of teenagers and their…
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    The Confused Goober

    The confused goober: 1. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight. 2.…
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    The Congregation Replied

    Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the…
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    Congratulations "Good" News!

    * The parachute company says you'll get a full refund. * They say the house didn't float…
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    Picnic Pains

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week, that her…
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    Midterm Exam

    The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of…
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    Diary Secrets

    A little boy asked his mother, "What's that you're reading?"A diary.What's in it?I can't…

Top 7 Signs Your Pastor Needs a Vacation

7. His first words to the congregation on Sunday morning are "All right, listen up you heathens..."



6. He falls asleep during his own sermon.



5. He shows up for Sunday service wearing Bermuda Shorts and a Tank Top.



4. Every time his pager goes off, he shouts, "Why can't they just leave me alone?!"



3. Announces baptismal services will be at the Grand Canyon.



2. You go to his office for counseling and pour your heart out to him and he says, "Sounds like a personal problem to me."



AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOUR PASTOR NEEDS A VACATION

1. For the past two months he has preached the same sermon every Sunday.

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