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More Jokes

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    Government Farm Visit

    A cocky Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with the…
  • showerhead

    Too Distant / Too Close

    The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To…
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    Toilet Repair

    Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to dismantle the entire…
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    Worker Ants

    The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker…
  • river

    Goober at the River

    You can find a picture of a goober at…
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    Cutting Class

    "Jill," a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, "do you mind telling me whose…
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    Things Learned From Children

    Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding): * There is no such thing as…
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    Deck Praise

    I was working in the sun all day, putting finishing touches on the new deck outside my…
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    Disguising Presents

    Three-year-old Elizabeth was helping her mother Melinda wrap a present for her father.…
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    Computer Help Desk

    Heard by the computer help desk:A customer couldn't get on the Internet:Helpdesk: "Are…
  • old lady

    Cast Off

    An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the…
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    Ten Minute Wait

    I called to make airline reservations and was put on hold. After several minutes of taped…
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    Roof Chicken

    One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto…
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    New Passport Photo

    Unfortunately, getting a new passport required a new photo. As I handed my ten-year-old…
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    Secret Of Life

    A woman walking down a residential street, noticed a little old man rocking in a chair on…

Top Nine Stupid Questions Received by the Chap Stick Hotline

9. "Hi, is this the chopstick hotline?"

8. "Okay, I removed the cap -- now what?"

7. "Can I use it to highlight passages in books?"

6. "Is it safe for my kitty's lips?"

5. "Is it true that the Chinese use these instead of forks?"

4. "I like to dress the tubes in tiny little clothes I make. Is this illegal?"

3. "Is it available in a spray?"

2. "I wrote a 22-page poem about Chap Stick. Where do I send it?"

1. "I lost my Chap Stick -- did anyone turn it in?"

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