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More Jokes

  • house brick

    New Home No Hears

    Top ten things you don't want to hear from your real estate agent when you go to…
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    Towel Misunderstanding

    One day a child at my four-year-old's Sunday school class told her classmates that she…
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    More Signs

    In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait." On an electrician's…
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    Tax Reform

    At an open conference in Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the audience which…
  • picture or an Irish Setter

    Mind Games For Dogs

    From the dog manual on how to mess with the minds of your humans. 1. After your humans…
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    Jury Duty

    Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?Juror: I don't…
  • river

    Goober at the River

    You can find a picture of a goober at…
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    Navy Shots

    While I'm not sure of the procedure now, when I was in the Navy, every so often, you got…
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    Halloween Pun

    Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, were vacationing in Europe -- as it happens, in…
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    Most Famous Man

    A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one…
  • newspaper2

    Cub Reporter

    The newspaper editor was instructing the cub reporter in important details of his…
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    Cursing Parrot

    Jimmy received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad…
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    Milk Switch

    To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods,…
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    Punctuation

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
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    Manservant

    Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next…

Top Nine Stupid Questions Received by the Chap Stick Hotline

9. "Hi, is this the chopstick hotline?"

8. "Okay, I removed the cap -- now what?"

7. "Can I use it to highlight passages in books?"

6. "Is it safe for my kitty's lips?"

5. "Is it true that the Chinese use these instead of forks?"

4. "I like to dress the tubes in tiny little clothes I make. Is this illegal?"

3. "Is it available in a spray?"

2. "I wrote a 22-page poem about Chap Stick. Where do I send it?"

1. "I lost my Chap Stick -- did anyone turn it in?"

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