*Top Signs Your Company is Planning a Layoff*
1. CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe."
2. Dr. Kevorkian hired as "Transition Consultant."
3. Windows 98 shutdown screen reads, "It's Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
4. Company softball team down-sized to chess team.
5. Sudden proliferation of teen-age geek interns.
6. Your boss keeps asking you when he can "show your cubicle."
7. Company president now driving a Hyundai.
8. Annual company holiday bash moved from Sheraton banquet room to abandoned Fotomat booth.
9. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
10. Company dental plan now consists of pliers and string.