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More Jokes

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    My Dog At It

    A minister delivered a sermon in ten minutes one Sunday morning. That was about half the…
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    Sign Return

    I was on board the USS Kitty Hawk when we docked in the Sri Lankan capital, Colombo.One…
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    Restaurant Rating

    I was meeting a friend in a restaurant and as I went in, I noticed two pretty girls…
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    The FBI Orders Pizza

    FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under…
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    Bosses Night

    At an annual Bosses Night dinner for Helena, Montana, lawyers, sponsored by legal…
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    Funny Answering Machines

    "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very…
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    Walk-in Scream

    A woman went to a walk-in clinic, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about…
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    Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers

    (From the Archives back in 1999)1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other…
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    College Cure

    Two men sank into adjacent train seats after a long day in the city. One asked the other,…
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    Dead Seagull

    A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him,…
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    Robbie's Move

    Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new…
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    Calling For Technical Support

    Calling For Technical Support (sound familiar?)------------------------------ Ring...…
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    Check Up

    A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup. The nurse starts with certain basic items.…
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    Captain Discipline

    About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a…
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    Too Distant / Too Close

    The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To…

What do you say when you get a gift you *Really Don't Like*.

10. "Well, well, well, now, there's a gift!"

9. "No, with all the hostile takeovers this year, I missed the big Ronco/K-Tel/Ginsu merger. Would you just look at that! What will they think of next?!"

8. "Hey, as long as I don't have to feed it, or clean up after it, or put batteries in it, I'm happy!"

7. "No, really, I didn't know that there was a Chia Pet tie! Oh, wow! It's a clip-on too!"

6. "You know, I always wanted one of these! Jog my memory -- what's it called again?"

5. "You know what? -- I'm going to find a special place to put this!"

4. "Boy, you don't see craftsmanship like that every day!"

3. "And it's such an interesting color too!"

2. "You say that was the last one? Am I ever glad that you snapped that baby up!"

And the number one thing to say about the Christmas gifts you didn't like is: "You shouldn't have! I mean it -- you really shouldn't have!"

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