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More Jokes

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    Vice President of Peas

    Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and…
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    Fearless Leader

    As a professor at Texas A & M, I taught during the day and did research at night. I would…
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    Tips From Cowboys

    ~ Never squat with your spurs on!~ Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.~ There's two…
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    Out of This World Bait

    My daughter-in-law Alma and grandson Eddy were digging for fishing bait in my garden.…
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    IRS Audit

    A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to…
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    911 Sees All

    Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of…
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    Inferior Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    Penguin Breakdown

    There was this truck driver who had to deliver five hundred penguins to the state zoo. As…
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    Sisters at the Superbowl

    Two elderly sisters donated $25 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to the…
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    Some Great Malapropisms...

    "I don't want anybody stepping on anyone else's thunder.""You can't pull the sheep over…
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    Favorite Flower

    While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife Peg listened to the…
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    Brazilian Jungle

    Two intrepid explorers met in the heart of the Brazilian jungle. "I'm here," declared…
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    Not-So-Bright People

    AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual…
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    Prison Sentence

    Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all…
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    Mom's Time Out

    My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.One Saturday, as Mom was…

What do you say when you get a gift you *Really Don't Like*.

10. "Well, well, well, now, there's a gift!"

9. "No, with all the hostile takeovers this year, I missed the big Ronco/K-Tel/Ginsu merger. Would you just look at that! What will they think of next?!"

8. "Hey, as long as I don't have to feed it, or clean up after it, or put batteries in it, I'm happy!"

7. "No, really, I didn't know that there was a Chia Pet tie! Oh, wow! It's a clip-on too!"

6. "You know, I always wanted one of these! Jog my memory -- what's it called again?"

5. "You know what? -- I'm going to find a special place to put this!"

4. "Boy, you don't see craftsmanship like that every day!"

3. "And it's such an interesting color too!"

2. "You say that was the last one? Am I ever glad that you snapped that baby up!"

And the number one thing to say about the Christmas gifts you didn't like is: "You shouldn't have! I mean it -- you really shouldn't have!"

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