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More Jokes

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    A Touch of Home

    Although we were being married in New Hampshire, I wanted to add a touch of my home…
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    Punishment Withheld

    Teacher: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also…
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    Grandmothers

    The following have been taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds.A grandmother…
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    Goober Travelers

    The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: * I had someone ask for an…
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    What Mom Really Wants

    Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day 10. To be able to eat a whole candy…
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    Cherokee Language

    A Cherokee Indian was a special guest at an elementary school. He talked to the children…
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    Signs You May Be Canadian

    SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE CANADIAN 1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You…
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    Chewed Out Answer

    A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he…
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    Rabbi Returns

    I returned to my parents' home to attend a funeral. At the temple, my mother led me to a…
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    Quips to Ponder

    If your life takes a turn for the worse, remember that you are the one who is driving! My…
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    Stupid Inventions

    Stupid Inventions: - Black Highlighter - Braille Driver's Manual - Clear Correction Fluid…
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    What's it Take?

    "What do you have to do to become a doctor?" my six-year-old granddaughter once asked.Her…
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    Dog Errand

    A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away.…
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    Top 17 Inspirational Messages Not Heard at Work

    (17) There is no "I" in "teamwork"...But there is in "management kiss-up". (16) If you do…
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    Busted

    He was a young Pastor and as usual the enemy would try to stir up trouble in the family…

What do you say when you get a gift you *Really Don't Like*.

10. "Well, well, well, now, there's a gift!"

9. "No, with all the hostile takeovers this year, I missed the big Ronco/K-Tel/Ginsu merger. Would you just look at that! What will they think of next?!"

8. "Hey, as long as I don't have to feed it, or clean up after it, or put batteries in it, I'm happy!"

7. "No, really, I didn't know that there was a Chia Pet tie! Oh, wow! It's a clip-on too!"

6. "You know, I always wanted one of these! Jog my memory -- what's it called again?"

5. "You know what? -- I'm going to find a special place to put this!"

4. "Boy, you don't see craftsmanship like that every day!"

3. "And it's such an interesting color too!"

2. "You say that was the last one? Am I ever glad that you snapped that baby up!"

And the number one thing to say about the Christmas gifts you didn't like is: "You shouldn't have! I mean it -- you really shouldn't have!"

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