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    Speeding Excuses

    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers…
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    Check The Mirror

    Harry was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after…
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    Shopping Advice

    While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a…
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    You Know You're a Northerner When

    You know you're a northerner when...~ you know the 4 seasons - winter, still winter, not…
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    Work P-p-p-p-p-roblem

    A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and…
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    Tennis Talk

    A manager was told by his doctor to take up some sport for exercise so he decided to play…
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    Executive Approval

    For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company.…
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    Fly Swatter

    A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly…
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    Worker Ants

    The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker…
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    Dynamite Bumps

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Pickup Backfire

    Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the floor of her son's room, a mother finally…
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    Do Something Nice

    Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, a man who lived far away…
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    Coffee Pain

    Linda and Jill were chatting over coffee.Said Linda, "I've been experiencing a strange…
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    Testimony Night

    It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked…
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    Commando Moses

    Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well,…

What do you say when you get a gift you *Really Don't Like*.

10. "Well, well, well, now, there's a gift!"

9. "No, with all the hostile takeovers this year, I missed the big Ronco/K-Tel/Ginsu merger. Would you just look at that! What will they think of next?!"

8. "Hey, as long as I don't have to feed it, or clean up after it, or put batteries in it, I'm happy!"

7. "No, really, I didn't know that there was a Chia Pet tie! Oh, wow! It's a clip-on too!"

6. "You know, I always wanted one of these! Jog my memory -- what's it called again?"

5. "You know what? -- I'm going to find a special place to put this!"

4. "Boy, you don't see craftsmanship like that every day!"

3. "And it's such an interesting color too!"

2. "You say that was the last one? Am I ever glad that you snapped that baby up!"

And the number one thing to say about the Christmas gifts you didn't like is: "You shouldn't have! I mean it -- you really shouldn't have!"

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