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More Jokes

  • business timing

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When…

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When... 1. You ask the waiter what the…
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    Help Line

    It's clear why these people needed to call a "help" line.------Customer: "I've been…
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    An Honest Golfer

    About four or five years ago I was standing in a ticket line at LAX, and a fellow in a…
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    Bunch Of Laughs

    Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: The Gate of…
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    Running Away

    A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He…
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    How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse

    How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse USA Today:WE'RE DEAD The Wall Street Journal:DOW…
  • police pull over

    Speedy Comeback

    The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his…
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    Library Confusion

    The college football player knew his way around the locker room better than he did the…
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    You Know You're Really A Mom When . . .

    You Know You're Really A Mom When . . . 1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake…
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    Cars Wars

    A limousine had encountered a red traffic light and was waiting for it to change when a…
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    Wig Eye Witness

    While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman…
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    Looking For Mike

    After directory assistance gave Glenda her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialed…
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    Taxing Cinderella

    The tax adviser had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for…
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    Driver's License Examiners

    While discussing the plight of Driver's license examiners, a former motor-vehicle-bureau…
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    Paid For Standing

    The owner of a manufacturing firm decided to make a surprise tour of the factory. Walking…

What do you say when you get a gift you *Really Don't Like*.

10. "Well, well, well, now, there's a gift!"

9. "No, with all the hostile takeovers this year, I missed the big Ronco/K-Tel/Ginsu merger. Would you just look at that! What will they think of next?!"

8. "Hey, as long as I don't have to feed it, or clean up after it, or put batteries in it, I'm happy!"

7. "No, really, I didn't know that there was a Chia Pet tie! Oh, wow! It's a clip-on too!"

6. "You know, I always wanted one of these! Jog my memory -- what's it called again?"

5. "You know what? -- I'm going to find a special place to put this!"

4. "Boy, you don't see craftsmanship like that every day!"

3. "And it's such an interesting color too!"

2. "You say that was the last one? Am I ever glad that you snapped that baby up!"

And the number one thing to say about the Christmas gifts you didn't like is: "You shouldn't have! I mean it -- you really shouldn't have!"

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