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    New Employee Orientation

    Five cannibals get appointed as engineers in a high-tech company. During the welcoming…
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    You Know You're a Northerner When

    You know you're a northerner when...~ you know the 4 seasons - winter, still winter, not…
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    School Recommendation

    When I went with my daughter to visit a prestigious university, our student guide pointed…
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    'Twas the Night Before Finals

    'Twas the night before finals,And all through the college,The students were prayingFor…
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    Paper Eater

    A minister delivered a sermon in ten minutes one Sunday morning, which was about half the…
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    Post Card Help

    A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a post card…
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    Classmate Reunion

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    Penguin Zoo

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    Third Grade Assignment

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
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    Shirt Note

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    Parking Lot Stay

    I pulled into the crowded parking lot at a Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down…
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    Turkey Size

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one…
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    There's Teacher

    The children had all been photographed for school pictures, and the teacher was trying to…
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    Fruit Cake Top Ten

    Top Ten Uses for Fruit Cake10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.9. Use…
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    Dog Rules

    Basic Rules for Dogs Who Have a Yard To Protect NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the…
10. His face permanently blackened like a cartoon bomb went off

9. Pushes his personal brand of 'pull start' furnaces

8. Dave Lennox beat him up once

7. Uses magnifying glass and really bright flashlight to try and re-light furnace

6. Assures you his new efficient furnace only emits "CO2 Lite"

5. The instruction manual he leaves behind just says, "Light fuse, get away"

4. Tools consist of duct tape, tin foil, and a rabbit's foot

3. Estimates your bill by shaking a bag of chicken bones

2. You notice his furnace filters all say "Mr. Coffee" on them

1. When firemen arrive, they all say his name in unison

Copyright 2006 Dave Tippett (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.). Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.
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