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    A Diet For Dealing With Stress

    1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. If you drink a…
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    Illegal Turn

    A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it…
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    Lost Bid

    Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly…
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    Bridge Trouble

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway when a sign comes up that reads "Low…
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    Notice

    PLEASE NOTICE:You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice.…
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    Getting Fat

    When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room…
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    Rare Bible

    A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away…
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    Bachelor's Cat

    A bachelor kept a cat for companionship, and loved his cat more than life itself. He was…
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    Seeing Eye Dog

    A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing eye dog one day. When they come to…
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    Skiing Experience

    Miss the experience of skiing? Try the following to get that feeling back.10. Visit your…
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    New Windows Error Messages

    Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.…
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    Dads and Babies

    My two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance. "I look like Mom,"…
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    Taxing Cinderella

    The tax adviser had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for…
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    Collectable Receipts

    An woman went to traffic violation court for speeding, lost the argument as it always…
  • Pictures of a Mother's Day Frame

    Mother Quotes

    PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight…
10. His face permanently blackened like a cartoon bomb went off

9. Pushes his personal brand of 'pull start' furnaces

8. Dave Lennox beat him up once

7. Uses magnifying glass and really bright flashlight to try and re-light furnace

6. Assures you his new efficient furnace only emits "CO2 Lite"

5. The instruction manual he leaves behind just says, "Light fuse, get away"

4. Tools consist of duct tape, tin foil, and a rabbit's foot

3. Estimates your bill by shaking a bag of chicken bones

2. You notice his furnace filters all say "Mr. Coffee" on them

1. When firemen arrive, they all say his name in unison

Copyright 2006 Dave Tippett (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.). Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.
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